Frustration

From August to December of 2008 I lost 40 pounds. It just fell off week after week and I felt great. I was using WW eTools religiously and started working out regularly and everything just clicked and I felt like I had made a lifestyle change that would stick. My gallbladder surgery was scheduled for December 10 and in preparation I worked out HARD for the 2 weeks leading up to that date, knowing it would be a week or two before I could return to my regular schedule seemed to motivate me and it felt great.

Then my surgery got cancelled at the last second (literally, I was prepped and waiting to be wheeled to the operating room) and everything fell apart. I fibbed about the real reason for the cancellation, telling everyone that some chest congestion kept me from going under the anesthesia, when in truth I found out during the surgery prep that I was pregnant. Pregnant! After trying for a bit with no success, then getting sick and trying hard not to get pregnant, here I was knocked up and unable to have surgery. I was excited and shocked – this timing was a perfect fit for our “3-years apart” plan – but I didn’t feel pregnant at all and was trying to wrap my head around it.

Knowing I was pregnant gave me an excuse not to continue my workout schedule; which lead to me not working out at all, and to fall off the WW wagon. The holidays hit and then I lost the pregnancy to miscarriage and everything got put on hold. The miscarriage did not hit me as hard as I expected – nothing about this pregnancy felt right and I wasn’t terribly surprised when it happened. It was hard and emotionally draining but I was not as wrecked as I thought I would be. It also gave me an excuse to further my delay my return to eating right and exercising and instead indulge in comfort eating. All of this lead to me gaining 7 pounds back in about 6 weeks. I felt sluggish and tired so getting back in my routine seemed even harder.

Now my surgery is back on for February 9 which has given me some motivation to hit the treadmill and turn Jillian back on. But I just can’t get my eating back on track. I’d lost most of the 7 lb gain but now my weight is starting to creep back up. I KNOW it’s because I’m only doing half of the job – it takes working out + eating right to lose weight, but I’m getting increasingly frustrated. I’m working out really hard (I’m actually running on the treadmill – something I haven’t done in …well I don’t think I’ve ever run on a treadmill before), I’m keenly aware of my abs, quads and shoulders as they are always sore, but the scale keeps moving in the wrong direction.

There is a new wellness competition starting soon at work which has me as a co-captain of a team and I’m hoping that my competitive spirit will help me get back in balance with both the eating and the exercising. I hope to recover from this surgery and get pregnant again quickly and I know being healthy is a key component to that equation, but right now I’m really struggling to keep both things going at the same time.

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4 thoughts on “Frustration

  1. Julie Mead says:

    I am so very sorry about your miscarriage. The same thing happened to me after we were “safe”-you know, saw the heartbeat, after 12 wks etc etc and I was DEVASTATED and gained back a ton of weight I had lost so I really understand where you are coming from. Good luck with your surgery! I just started following you on twitter (jules23) because we are both moms in Ohio with young kids and our husbands work together. So there ya go.

    Julie Mead

  2. Nancy says:

    Hi Katy,
    I recently found your great blog and I really like it. You are very down to earth and I can relate to you, which is why I keep clicking to see when you update with new stories. Anyway, I myself have been doing the weight loss thing. It has been a little bit of a struggle, but I am 42 lbs. down (5 to go). I don’t know if this would be helpful to you, but I was sent this packet of information called The Truth About Nutrition that I used as my weight loss “bible”. I didn’t do WW or any other thing like that. I took the lessons that I learned in my ‘bible’ and applied them to my daily eating/exercising. It truly inspired me to take my weight loss to the next level (I plateaued at around the 1/4 mark and this helped me move forward). I also took the supplements that are mentioned in the packet, but you can totally ignore that if you wish (if you would happen to want more info about them, I would love to chat with you about them, but please don’t think I’m trying to sell you something). Could I send the packet to you? I really want to help you succeed and it pains me to see you frustrated (even though I don’t know you and you don’t know me – although we can change that). If you are on Facebook, you can find me and we can “meet” that way also.
    All the best,
    Nancy Vigna (Mom of two from Washington DC)

  3. Katy, I am so very sorry. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Step back for a moment and let go of the guilt. Get through the surgery (best wishes for a speedy recovery by the way) first, and then focus on getting back on track with the exercise, eating right stuff. Just take one step at a time…

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