Choosy Idiots Choose Jif

My husband got this in an email from a local chapter of a professional association for designers:

 “I make lunches, I car pool, I workout, I run errands, I volunteer, I’m in meetings, I pay bills, I manage, I organize, I design, I help with homework, I cook, I read bedtime stories. I’m a mom.”

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot. This is really the message you want to me sending to all of your members? That you have to have a vagina to be capable of doing all of those things?

A few weeks ago as I was elbow deep in baking – one of my favorite things to do – I sent a quick post on facebook thanking Mark for taking M and running 2 blocks to the store to get me more yeast while I continued to make bread. The responses were ridiculous. It was as if he had cured a major malady, such was the outpouring of “what a wonderful man”, “you are so lucky” and “I hope to have a husband like that some day”.

Again, what the hell? Yes it was nice, but he ran a 10 minute errand for me 1) because he knows I enjoy baking and 2) because he’s going to be eating the damn delicious homemade bread.

Nothing gets him or I more riled up than this crazy assumption, one played upon by the media, that fathers are bumbling, no-help idiots. Guess what? In our house Mark is the one who makes M’s lunch – every single morning. He also does the laundry and, since MAD was born, is solely responsible for M’s bath and bedtime stories.

We are a partnership – equal partners and parents to the fullest extent. We both car pool, cook and run errands. We both work (and make very similar salaries), do housework, yard work, grocery shop and workout. We carve out time for each other but also make sure the other has time to pursue a social life and hobbies. I go workout with a trainer while he takes both kids to M’s ballet class. He spends 2-3 hours each Sunday on his marathon training long runs while I run errands with the kids. I enjoy a monthly(ish) girls night out and he goes for beers with friends or freezes his ass off watching the Browns lose.

We help each other out. He wants new running socks and I’ll take a lunch hour to go buy him some. I’m missing an ingredient and he’ll run to the store for me. To me this is normal; it’s how it “should be”. The work/marriage/life balance is crazy hard. Sometimes we both feel like we are getting the short end of the stick, but we put major effort into helping each other out. I might cringe at M’s hair when Mark does it and I know he cringse when I’m the one trying to get her to go to bed (he has much more paitence for that task). But we are married; we are partners in this life we have chosen together. He doesn’t need a mother to make his lunch and do his laundry; I don’t need a man to start the lawn mower or take out the trash.

And we sure as hell don’t need marketers or professional organizations trying to perpetuate those stereotypes.


In the past I’ve mentioned my love for Eucerin Calming Body Wash Daily Shower Oil. Midwest winters are harsh. Midwest winters in a house with radiant heat (i.e. no chance to run a whole-house humidifier) are brutal. My skin loves that shower oil and when I follow my shower with some Burt’s Bees Mama Oil my skin is happy. It still flakes some and I get a few itchy spots, but it’s so much better than before.

So when AndreAnna started posting about the Oil Cleansing Method it made sense. I fact, I checked the back of the Eucerin and saw that my beloved shower oil was mostly castor and soja oils. I’d been washing my body with oils for awhile, doing the same with my face seemed ok.

I started the OCM about 3 weeks ago and I’m totally happy with it. It has not changed my skin into that of a glowy super model. But it’s as clear as it was with harsher cleansers, not nearly as dry and the ingredients for about a 6 month supply cost all of $17. I’m using a castor/grapeseed combo and after the first week when I switched the ratios (I used 80% castor 20% grapeseed – oops!) and my skin got super-dry, the process is working for me.

What made me laugh the other morning is when I looked around my bathroom. Shower oil in the bathtub, my homemade face oil on the sink, a bottle of Moroccan Oil (a year-round product – I LOVE this stuff!) with my hair stuff and a new-for-dry-hair-winter purchase: V05 Hot Oil. Yes, the old school Alberto V05…what can I say?  It works.

You’d think I’d leave an oil slick in my wake, but in reality it barely keeps the cracking skin and brittle, staticy hair at bay. I can’t wait for the first humid thunderstorm of spring.