This morning I stopped at Starbucks on the way to my office, ready for the sweet thrill of a Peppermint Mocha.  As I was waiting in line (in a predominantly Jewish suburb, no less), I witnessed something I had only read about before.  No, it wasn’t the abominable snowman showing up for a half-caf quad-shot venti mocha with extra cinnamon and soy milk. But it was just as shocking.

The woman ahead of me in line actually scolded the barista ringing her up for saying “happy holidays” when she passed over her change.  The customer got all huffy and said “You know… you can wish me a merry Christmas! It is Christmas Eve after all!”

The poor barista looked dumbfounded and muttered a quick apology while the customer seemed to wait for the barista to correct herself.  After a few awkward moments the customer turned to those of us in line and, clearly looking to start something, loudly asked “Don’t you wish she would just say Merry Christmas instead of being all politically correct?”  Everyone kind of looked at their shoes for a second and the barista looked as if she wanted to crawl under the counter.

After a few silent seconds of the customer frantically searching our faces for support I piped up with the lie “No, I don’t.  I’m Jewish.  Can I order my coffee now?” That shut her up pretty quickly and she hustled out of the door.
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I am so sick of these self-righteous assholes pretending that December is all about Christmas and nothing else.  Last I checked December plays hosts to Rohatsu/Bodhi Day, Hanukkah, Christmas, Karthigai Deepm, Boxing Day, Kwanzaa, Winter Solstice, Sabarimala Mandala Puja, New Year’s Eve and the ever-popular Festivus. And as far as I know there is no way of visually figuring out which (if any) of these holidays a person might celebrate.  If you are pretentious enough to be offended by the word choice of a simple greeting, don’t take it out on the store employee who probably has no choice in the matter – take it up with the manager or the corporate office that sets the policy. Then maybe go get some therapy to find out why your panties are all in a bunch over something so trival.

And don’t get me started on the origins of the Christian celebration of Christmas…because if we are going to be truthful, it has nothing to do with the actual birth of Jesus and everything to do with adopting/stealing ancient pagan dates and traditions in order to bring more people to the church.

Happy Holidays not politically correct it’s just correct, so here’s wishing you and yours a very happy end of December and a prosperous new year.