general musings

What’s Wrong With Us?

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A tiny 8 week old baby started daycare in MADs room this week.  A fragile little boy who still has the translucent skin of a newborn and whose little squawks and squeaks makes my ovaries ache.  And in an instant my heart broke for his parents and my hate of US family leave policies started taking form.  This country has things SO SCREWD UP.

6 weeks.  That is all that 52% of working moms get off with their newborn.  24% only get 4 weeks.  And for 10% of mothers this time, as short as it is, is totally unpaid.  The other 90% get anywhere from 40-100% of their pay via disability – a coverage that they pay into from every other paycheck they receive.  Apparently if you live in the states you want to work for Johnson & Johnson, “The Family Company” where new moms with five years of job nets 26 paid weeks of maternity leave. (Source: Institute for Women’s Policy Research & Working Mother Media, Inc.)

Studies abound about the benefits to all involved – including the company – that comes from extended periods of leave.  Time away from work within the first year back goes down drastically. Long-term (6 months +) breastfeeding increases when leave is longer. Worker productivity is higher upon return when leave is 12 weeks minimum. Heck, the US government’s Department of Health and Human Services has spent hundreds of millions of dollars on ad campaigns to convince moms to exclusively breastfeed for at least six months – money that might be better spent allowing new moms to be WITH their infant those first six months.

Now – before you start crowing about how it’s not fair for those who choose not to have kids for women to get this time off, let me finish.  I’m not just talking about maternity leave here.  I’m talking about FAMILY leave.  FMLA  = Family Medical Leave Act and it can be used for more then just birthin’ babies.

For instance, an acquaintance of ours in Toledo just passed away after battling brain cancer for years.  He and his wife were some of the loveliest people you would ever know and they were the kind of couple that upon meeting them you just know they were meant to be together.  They loved each other fiercely.  They had no children by choice. As you can imagine with brain tumors he underwent years of surgery, illness, good days and bad.  In the end his wife had to return to work the day after his funeral because she had used up all of her FMLA time caring for him in the year before he died. They were together 20 some years and she had no time to grieve his passing.

Another friend just moved to be near her 80-year-old father and become his primary caregiver. She’s in her 40s and is facing a few health issues herself, including an upcoming surgery.  She is worried that if something happens to her dad that requires her to take time off work she would put her job in jeopardy.  She’s single, childless by choice and is worried that if something were to happen that FMLA won’t be enough to protect her only source of income.

I have a feeling that as the Baby Boomers continue to age and start leaning on their adult children – the very people that make up the bulk of working America – that things might slowly change.  If the Boomers and their children start pushing for change that would make up a huge majority of voters who could leverage some action.  Which is sad, because most everyone says that family should come first but we don’t do anything to make sure that it really does.

Scenes from a Commute

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I only commute to work about 8 miles each way and it’s mostly through neighborhood streets.  But that doesn’t mean I don’t see some interesting things…

An elderly man, easily in his 80s, riding a Vespa scooter clad in manpris, black socks pulled up over his shins and shiny black loafers.  He capped off his look with a British Zulu-style pith helmet.

———- 

A woman in her 40s jogging along the sidewalk, a wide weightlifting belt around her waist, a thick rope tied to the back and leading to a kid, maybe 9 years old, behind her.  He also has a belt on with the other end of the rope tied to it, Izzy Mandelbaum – style.  The kid was clearly not happy and was tripping along, arms flailing.  I seriously almost called the cops on her. 

———-

An older gentleman on a hot, humid day, in a full church suit, strolling in the dappled shade.  Bright Kelley green coat with wide, white stripes.  Green pants.  Green and white newsboy hat.  A green cane with a gold ball handle.  Shiny white shoes and big sunglasses.

———-

The mean old lady with her humungous straw sunhat, walking on the street, in the middle of my lane (a mere 5 feet from a perfectly level sidewalk).  I wait for oncoming traffic and move to the other lane to pass her but she still turns and shakes her angry fist in my direction for daring to drive my car on the road.

There’s always something to see and it’s always interesting! What do you see on your daily drive?

Milk Maid

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I know I’ve been a horrible blogger.  I hardly comment.  Posting is random and not often. But that doesn’t mean I’m not reading your blogs* or writing a dozen different posts in my head.  The truth is that there just isn’t any time.

Thanks to the 4-month sleep regression and what seems to be a growth spurt here’s my typical day:

6 AM – Up to pump, shower & get ready for work
6:45 (if he doesn’t wake up sooner, which he often does) – feed MAD
7:45 – Everyone out the door
8:00 – Feed MAD at daycare
8:30 – try to actually get some work done
11:00 – Pump**
11:30 – A little more work
1:00 – Take a late lunch to visit MAD at daycare for another feeding
1:30 –  A bit more work
3:30 – Pump
4:00 – try desperately to finish the day’s work (this never happens and I get further behind)
5:00 – Pick up MAD
5:15 – 7:00 – Try to play with M & have dinner all while MAD is a constant-feeding machine
7:00 – MAD’s nursing/bedtime which lately has taken upwards of 1 hour
8-10:00 – Pump, exercise, try to do a few things around the house, talk with the husband
10:00 – Fall into bed, knowing that I will be up 2-3 times during the night.

This doesn’t leave anytime for surfing the web,  writing, TV or just about anything else.  When I’m pumping or nursing I feel guilty that I’m not spending more time with M or doing anything close to my share of the housework.  When I do sneak away to exercise I feel guilty because I know MAD is home screaming while Mark tries to get M in bed.  At work I feel guilty for the time I spend away from my desk pumping/nursing and I feel guilty for leaving MAD at daycare.  I feel awful that I’m not giving M the attention she needs and it’s showing through her behavior.

Top this all off with the fact that MAD is wanting/needing more bottles and I’m struggling to keep up with his demand.  I never had any sort of supply issue with M (of course I didn’t pump with her either), so this is very frustrating.  I let him nurse on demand when I’m with him and I try to pump every 2-3 hours when I’m not but my output is dwindling.  He was getting 2 4oz. bottles at daycare in addition to my one visit to nurse, but last week they asked for a 3rd. (Side note: one little girl in his class, 2 weeks older then him, who is there the exact same amount of time each day gets 5 4 oz. bottles – does this seem like A LOT to anyone else?) My 3 pumping sessions leave me with just enough, but sometimes I’m a few ounces short.

I’m already drinking 90-120 oz of water a day and taking a max dose of fenugreek (as recommended by my lactation consultant) to help boost my supply. I’ve added a big bowl of steel-cut oats in the morning (using this method which rocks). I bought some “mother’s milk” tea which is absolutely disgusting and I don’t think I can drink it again. So far my efforts really haven’t paid off. I know that the sleep thing is hurting me, as well as the stress of being pulled in 8 different directions at once but there’s not much I can do about that.

We did supplement with formula last week which he promptly puked up – so much so that I took him to the doctor who thought it was a stomach bug and not a reaction to the formula.  However, I’m not ready to try that again.  With M we tried cereal around 4 months but she wasn’t a fan so we postponed solids until 6 months and skipped “baby food” altogether.  I was hoping to do that with MAD but right now I’m burnt out at being is only food source.

I look a breastfeeding like running a marathon (not that I’ve ever done that or plan to – just from what I’ve read) and I know I’m in the “this sucks, and it’s only going to get worse” phase.  I also know that I’ve made it 1/3 of the way to my goal and the payoff is worth it so I’m not going to quit.  I don’t remember being this irritated and down on breastfeeding with M but with her I never really had to pump.  So, if you breastfed and worked outside the house did you hit this wall at about 4 months, too?  Does any have any supply-booster ideas that I haven’t tried?

*I read everything, almost as soon as it’s written!  I don’t know how I got through nursing M for 17 months without my iPhone.  Having Twitter, WWF and blogs to keep me company during pumping sessions and late-night feedings keeps me much more sane.  But commenting on an iPhone leaves a lot to be desired so I usually don’t.

**My work is awesome about pumping – I work at a hospital that is very pro-breastfeeding so I have a lot of resources.   We have lactation rooms and lactation consultants on-call. However, since I work at an administrative campus and not the main facility things are a little different.  For instance, instead of having swipe-card access to the lactation room I have to get a key from security. Every. single. time. And most of the security guards are male. Such fun.  And, I’d been jealous that at the main facility that the lactation rooms are equipped with “hospital grade pumps” so all you had to do was have your own parts, and not lug the whole pump back and forth to work.  That is until I happened to be there one day during pumping time and saw the provided pumps:


let’s just say I was so happy to have my PIS at my side.

Move In The Right Direction

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Last week I got in a heated twitter-debate about the proposed mosque on Park Place in New York City. Because months after this project was proposed the conservative wind–bags decided an election year would be a great time to denounce an entire religion and culture based on the acts of a select few.  And the crazy thing is that people are buying what they are selling and re-preaching what they are saying. And it blows. my. mind.  

I cannot believe that in 2010 we are giving credence to people who preach bigotry, hatred and intolerance.  It’s insane to me that in this day and age not only that a church is planning a “Burn a Quran Day”, but they are getting coverage from major news outlets as well.  [By the way, the lovely Karen Walrond is organizing a photobomb as an act of peace in response to this act of hate – please think about participating]. 

Look, I know that what happened on 9/11 was a tragedy of unheard of proportions.  I will never, ever forget where I was on that day or the feeling of fear and helplessness in the weeks that followed.  I can’t imagine what the families of the victims felt then or still feel now. So in the days after 9/11 I decided to arm myself with knowledge.  I didn’t take what the news outlets spouted as fact.  I picked up the Quran and started reading it myself.  I saw for myself that just like the Bible, anyone can piece-meal verses together out of context and come up with a rigid (and mostly wrong) interpretation of the message.  I observed prayer services at our local mosque and spoke with its members.  I don’t claim to be an expert on Islam, but I feel very comfortable in my assertion that it’s a peaceful religion.  

The way I felt on September 12, 2001 is the same way I feel today: it was an act of an extremist few who dislike the freedoms we enjoy in this country.  The way to respond to the unthinkable acts of 9/11 is not to start eroding at those freedoms ourselves, but to extend those freedoms even further. I am a fierce defender of the separation of church and state and this usually means fighting the Christian church to keep its dogmatic rules out of our governing laws.  But this time it means making sure the government protects the right for this church to be built anywhere it wants.  And for that reason I am so glad that the mosque is one step closer to realization.

New Stuff & Hand-Me-Downs

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In other random, baby news there are some products that have changed in the 3 years since I had M.  I remember that the Aden + Anais muslin swaddlers* were just hitting the scene when she was about 6 months old.  I thought they were overpriced and kind of pointless.  But, during one of my many lunch-time Target runs during this pregnancy I saw that they made a line for Target that cost $29.99.  I hesitated and it paid off because they went on clearance.  I snagged the last set of 4 for $14.99.  And let me tell you they are priceless.  I use them every. single. day.  Especially for a summer baby because they are so lightweight.  Perfect for swaddling (which MAD still loves), but also a great nursing cover, light blanket to ward off overzealous air conditioning, a stroller cover for when he’s sleeping – it still lets the breeze through.  I don’t worry so much about it covering his face because it’s so breathable.  I haven’t used any of the dozens of receiving blankets we have in favor of the Aden + Anais muslins. Honestly – best impulse buy ever!  I would buy the full price set for a baby shower gift in a heartbeat. 

Also, the Sleep Sheep.  I thought they were cute, but (again) pricey and unnecessary.  Fast forward to this week when they put one in his crib at daycare and he fell asleep in minutes with no fussing.  I’ve watched it work its magic myself during several of my visits.  We will be sheep-hunting this weekend, for sure! 

His room has M’s old crib (which belonged to her 2 cousins before her).  It’s (gasp!) a drop side and I have no intention to replace it.  Don’t get me started on how stupid I think the crib recall is. Over 3 million cribs have been recalled for 36 deaths in 3 years, all of which were the result of either a broken part or user error. That’s a .00012% failure rate.  Your baby has a better chance of being struck by lightning then getting caught in a faulty crib.

More babies die every year from suffocation in blankets, bumpers and toys than from defective cribs, yet you don’t see them recalling the cutesy, insanely expensive crib bedding sets.  I had to MacGyver a flat bed sheet to be a crib skirt since I couldn’t find anything that wasn’t part of a set! Why would I want a crib-size quilt or bumpers when you aren’t supposed to put a baby and those things in a crib at the same time?  I just wanted something to cover up the space between the raised bed and the drawer below and the one we had in M’s room doesn’t match the walls in MAD’s room.  Seriously new moms, here is what you need: 2-3 sheets, 2-3 waterproof mattress pads/covers and a crib skirt (aesthetic reasons only).  Maybe down the line you might get this.  I just saved you $200.

Whew! Sorry, I think I just got way too worked up over baby bedding.  Moving on…

All the hand-me-down stuff I got for M (play gym, bouncy seat, portable swing, pack-n-play) is holding up fine. That is except for the Bumbo.  A friend gave me hers when M was a baby.  I loved it, she loved it – for all of about 3 months.  It’s a great invention, just not worth the $35 retail price for such a short time.  So in the spirit of paying it forward, I passed it on to someone with the intention of getting it back, but then we moved and oh well – I’d just get a used on from Craigslist. 

However, I didn’t think to ask if the owner smoked because what kind of asshole smokes around a baby?  Apparently the person I bought it from is just that kind of an asshole.  And foam rubber soaks up odors because it’s a sponge.  So, after Googling and Tweeting for advice, I sealed it up in a plastic bag with a huge dose of vinegar and a jar of baking soda for a week.  Last night, after a week in solitary deodorization confinement I removed it and …. It still stinks.  Guess that’s a wasted $20 and I’ll probably shell out the $35 to get a new one.  At least I know I can get $20 back on Craigslist in a few months. (I’m still a huge advocate of buying used baby gear, though – just stick with resale shops where you can give things the sniff test!) 

So, to any of you newer moms – what’s your “must have” item? What am I missing out on since I avoid Babies R Us at all costs? Veteran moms, what was the most useless/impractical thing you bought for your first?

*I got nothing from Aden+Anais.  I bought my own swaddles and love them so I’m telling you about them.

I Can’t Believe I’m Writing About This

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So, I live in Cleveland.  And tonight a certain basketball player had a very public break up with my fair city.  And since it’s been the talk of Cleveland for the past 2 months (seriously, yesterday I had lunch with Mark and EVERY. SINGLE. TABLE. in the cafe was talking LBJ), here are my thoughts on the matter.

1 – He was drafted to the then very crappy Cavs 7 years ago.  He did not choose to stay here near his hometown of Akron.  But he really did make the best of his time here.  He has done a lot to bring attention to both Cleveland and Akron.  He played 7 great years of basketball (hello, 2 MVPs!).  The Cavs did everything they could to help bring Cleveland a championship. LeBron did everything he could to bring a championship home (with possible exception being the final playoff game against the Celtics this year). And we still couldn’t close the deal. He’s allowed to move on without being called disloyal.

2 – When drafted at the age of 18 he said lots of things about bringing Cleveland a ring.  That’s all well and good but my god, I hope no one holds me to things I said as an 18 year old!  Think about it – if someone put your feet to the fire over something you said at that age you are bound to be burned.

3 – This will not destroy our city. Cleveland is way more at heart and financially then a single man.  The last I checked the Cavs are still playing next season, one man does not make a team. I’m still a fan and will go to games, just like thousands of others. Heck, the Browns and Indians have sucked for years and people still pay to see them play.

4 – The man is an entertainer, he’s kept us entertained for the last 2 weeks as he made “The Decision”. He’s done his job well & now everyone is shitting on him for giving us something to talk about. We’ve fed his ego for 7 years & now people burn his jersey over him being the diva we asked him to be?  That’s not fair.

5 – Yeah, doing this on national TV was a bad move.  But see my diva comment above. And, like it or not, I think most Clevelanders wear the “beat down sports town” badge with some level of pride.

6 – We now have 3 huge egos on one team… if you are a NBA fan, it will be entertaining to say the least. (I still think the Lakers will beat them and win next year’s championship, too.)

7 – It’s a GAME people, not a “tragedy”. The oil spill is a tragedy. What’s happening to Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani is a tragedy. Get some perspective.

8 – All of a sudden, a crybaby who publically begged and pleaded for more money or he was going to leave the Browns (*cough* Josh Cribs *cough*) is being held up as the Cleveland definition of loyalty? Come on, we are better then this.

9 – I’m left wondering where the hate is for Patricia Heaton, Halle Berry, Ben Curtis & Toni Morrison and many more. All stars in their fields. All call Cleveland their hometown. All moved on to where they could make the most of their careers. LBJ is entitled to do the same and still be welcomed home.

10 – We’re still not Detroit!

I have no ill will toward the man.  I wish him well in Miami and hope he continues to do charitable work in NE Ohio.  I hope people still treat him well when he’s home.

Okay, I can go to bed now.

Reset

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When I walked out of the hospital with MAD I was 25 lbs lighter then when I got pregnant.  My body reacts to pregnancy in a different way then most women’s bodies do.  I don’t get crazy cravings.  Ice cream holds no appeal.  I forget to eat.  Sweets sound gross.  As a result, during both pregnancies my net has been a pretty good weight loss.

However, once the baby is out and nursing begins my sugar cravings go through the roof.  I can’t get enough sweets.  I don’t have to fight to get the baby weight off.  I have to fight to keep the nursing weight off.  Which is where I am right now.  Luckily during this time of year I can usually satisfy these cravings with fresh fruit.  Every night I have a big bowl of fresh, local berries and milk. But it’s so easy to make up a batch of homemade shortcake to go with the strawberries, or sprinkle my blueberries with sugar.

With M I exercised throughout my pregnancy.  I walked almost daily and took a weekly prenatal yoga class.  With MAD, I barely did anything.  A cardio class here and there.  A few dates with a treadmill and that was it.  I might have been down in weight but I was completely out of shape.

So a couple of weeks ago, when a neighborhood girl dropped off a flyer about her babysitting services I called her the next day.  After 2 days of me staying home while she was a “mother’s helper” for a few hours, I was confident MAD was ready for me to leave him in the sitter’s care.  The next day I looked at the class offerings at my gym and attended one.

Last week I went to five classes.  I went to Total Conditioning with Pauline and got my ass kicked several times over.  I tried a boxing class using weighted gloves.  A barbell strength class that should be renamed “do squats for an hour while lifting” was awesome.  And Zumba had me laughing at myself the entire hour (I am SO not a dancer!).  I feel great.  I’m sore and tired but it’s such a good feeling, one I haven’t had in awhile. The squats are getting easier.  I feel strong again.

This week it’s the same thing.  And I’ve already booked the sitter for next week, too.  Then I go back to work.

My gym only offers one late evening class a week (something I am really trying to get them to change).  I’m bummed because I love classes.  I love mixing it up and pushing through an hour of moves.  I challenge myself much more in a class then I would on my own.  I did burpees today!! I would NEVER do those on my own. But, I’m trying to come up with a plan to keep me motivated after I return to work.

I think I will start the C25k program which I can do outside or on our treadmill after the kids are in bed.  I’m going to try to make it to that Monday night class.  My office has yoga on Thursdays which I will start again. Maybe I’ll do the 30 Day Shred or Power 90 a couple of times a week.  Or head to the gym after the kids are in bet to use the weights.  I have to do something to keep the nursing weight off.

Now, if I can only kick this insane sugar craving. I’m reading about AndreAnna‘s journey with great interest. I know that’s the next step, but one I’m not quite ready to make.  Yet.

Happy Father’s Day

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He didn’t want kids when we met.  No way, no how.  But I knew better.  I saw the father he could be buried beneath everything else.

8 years later he became a father.

And she instantly wrapped him around her little finger and showed him how to be a great Daddy.

Now, he’s a father twice over.  And he’s just as smitten with the little dude as he is with her.

Happy Father’s Day to my husband.  I knew you had it in you to be an incredible dad.

With the coffee mug M made for him at school

On Privilege & Health

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This post has been rattling around in my head for days, keeping me up at night.  It took a Canadian to give me the courage to finally put it all in writing.

One year of debate. Over 200 of their amendments added to the bill. 1,003 changes overall. And yet the GOP still cries that this bill was “shoved down their throats” or “pushed through too quickly”. Shouts of “You Lie!” and “Baby Killer” during speeches. 10 states spent tax-payer money in preparation of suing the government before the bill passed into law even though almost all Constitutional lawyers have said those lawsuits will fail.

Like it or not, this is how our government works, and for 8 years half of the country sat, feeling as hopeless as you do now, watching our government get bigger and bigger while we felt our civil liberties were whittled away. I understand where you are coming from, I really do.  But grow up already. The pendulum swings back and forth, so the GOP will get its chance to go back to eroding basic liberties, making the rich richer and messing with the economy again in the future.

Yes, I am liberal; an independent liberal. I vote on issues and platforms, not party…shocking, I know. I research, I think, I question. And I believe my grandfather, a lifetime politician and proud member of the GOP, would be ashamed of what is said and done in the name of his party today.

No, I am not a church-goer. But, I was raised in a conservative, politically-active, church-going family so I have been on both sides of the aisle. I lived in great neighborhoods, attended fantastic public schools, and never had a need go unmet. As far as I know, my parents never lived in abject fear that a slip, accident or unwelcome diagnosis would derail their children’s future.

As an adult I now realize that I was born armed to the teeth with privilege. Wealth, even moderate wealth, brings privilege in the US. Yes, my parents and grandparents and great-grandparents worked very, very hard to provide the next generation with a boost up the ladder of life. Not everyone starts out on the same rung and no matter how hard they work they might not ever reach a comfortable lifestyle. And for all of you shaking your fists and yelling “I pulled myself up by my bootstraps!” I shake and yell back “bullshit! Someone, somewhere gave you a boost along the way”. I am willing to give up a tiny little bit of my privilege to give someone else a boost.

And for all the name calling being thrown around: “Socialism”, “Communism”, “Totalitarian Regime” – I think people need to get out their dictionaries and return to civics class.

We are a long, long way from joining the rest of the industrialized world with universal health care. And if you look at the law itself, and not listen to all the talking heads, you will realize that this law does little to healthcare itself and is aimed mostly at regulating the insurance industry. NOTHING in this law as far as I can tell (other then the abortion language, but that’s a whole other post) specifically directs what a doctor can and cannot do. Don’t worry – insurance companies already do that for you. It doesn’t say who you can see or what for.

What it does is make it accessible and affordable for everyone to have health insurance so that those of us with coverage already will pay less for those who don’t. Because in case you didn’t know it, every hospital has a huge budget set aside for “uncompensated care” and those who have insurance or can afford to pay out of pocket are the ones who feed that budget. More insured = less uncompensated care *should*= less cost for all.

And if you don’t want to opt in? Fine, pay you share into the system and then do your own thing (just like we all do for education).

This law is not perfect. It’s not complete. But it’s a step in the right direction. Sure, I would love it if we lived in a world where “helping each other out when things go wrong because we’re human and we’re all in this together” was the norm. But we don’t so our government is giving us a collective shove in that direction. We live in a big, scary world where one second you’re a young, healthy person in an aerobics class and the next you are not. But now, there is hope that if you survive a crazy incident you won’t be financially ruined as well.

I Hate Rita

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The county in which I live is part of a Regional Income Tax Authority (RITA).  This is a collective regional tax that pays for shared services (such as mass transit) but also is a collection agency for municipalities who don’t have the budget/staff to have their own City Tax Office. RITA collects the city income taxes and distributes them back to the city in which you live.  I have no problem at all paying my taxes but this system is insane and I just don’t understand it.

We moved in to the system in December of 2007 and had no idea about RITA.  I just assumed that like at all my previous employers the appropriate local income taxes were taken out of my check.  Fast forward to early 2009 when we got a summons to appear at RITA for back taxes missing from 2007.  Apparently because the county has so many cities and each city has a different tax liability, most large employers don’t take RITA taxes out of your check and leave the responsibility up to you.  We were told this was common. Plus, you pay taxes not only for the city in which you live but the city in which you work.  That means we owed taxes for 3 different cities and what you pay in one city will impact what you owe in another.

We gathered up all the needed paperwork and arrived at the scheduled time.  A RITA representative went over everything, explained what we owed for the 2 ½ weeks we lived here in 2007 and we wrote a check for less then $100.  She said it was all we owed; we were now current and paid in full.  She then told us that she set everything up in the system and we would get quarterly reminders from then on and that since the taxes were paid in arrears all the funds paid in 2009 would be for the 2008 tax year.  When we got them we promptly paid them – each of the bills was only a few hundred dollars. 

Fast forward again to early 2010 when we again receive a summons to appear at RITA for back taxes.  This time I was pissed off – we went last year! We paid every bill they sent! What the heck did we do wrong now? So several weeks ago we both took the morning off work and went through the motions again.  This time, the RITA employee said we owed thousands in back taxes for all of 2008 and 2009.  I showed her all the paperwork from the previous meeting, told her we paid all the bills we received and didn’t understand why we owed so much more.  She plodded away on her lap top, compared my paperwork to her screen and finally told us that the woman who helped us in the previous year entered horribly flawed information which meant that we only paid a tiny fraction of what we really owed.  And to make matters worse, the previous woman flat out lied when she told us the taxes were paid in arrears – they are actually paid for the current year! And we had no recourse…after all it’s our responsibility to know what we owe …and even though their own employee had done the calculations and signed off on them we were left to pay the owed amount (fine) plus interest and a penalty (not fine, but we had no choice).  

So, at the suggestion of this new woman, we wrote a modest check that day then took the paperwork she had helped us fill out and went home register for their on-line reminder and payment services.  She said that when we logged on the full amount we owed would show up and we could pay it on-line.  We could also sign up for email reminders for upcoming quarterly payments since it turns out we were only sent 2 reminders the previous year (a “quirk in the system” we were told).  She suggested we wait a few days so the small payment we made would be deducted from the amount owed, then to pay the full balance shown online and we would be up to date.

We did just that and the numbers online matched the paperwork she gave us.  We paid the full balance and, per her oral and written directions, thought we were finally current on payments for all of 2008, 09 and the 1st quarter of 2010 and would receive the next reminder for 2010 taxes by early March.  Last week we got our reminder, which again says we owe well over a thousand dollars, including new interest and penalties for unpaid 2008 taxes.  WHISKEY. TANGO. FOXTROT?!

I don’t get it.  I don’t understand this system at all.  I understand taxes – I do my own state and federal taxes every year.  But this? I just don’t understand.