Four

Dear M,

Four years ago today you made me a mama and Mark a daddy and taught us how to be a family.  And now you are so very excited to be 4 – a big girl by all measures. It amazes me every day that you are ours, that we get to spend our time with you and that you will always be our baby.

5 hours old

You’ve never been timid about life.  Shy, sometimes, but once you decide to do something you go at it full force.  This is why you are covered with scrapes, bumps and bruises all the time.  You know exactly what you want to do and how you want to do it.  When we are somewhere new you are content to just chill out and observe for a bit.  You need to get the lay of the land.  But as soon as you feel comfortable it’s off to the races with no turning back.

Age 1, at The Toledo Museum of Art in our old neighborhood

You are a very adaptable child, and can usually go with the flow.  You find games and tricks in every little activity.  Now that you can recognize some words you love showing off your “reading” skills.  You excitedly point out letters and numbers and make associations that blow my mind.  A constant craving for new books means we go to the library every weekend for a new stack to devour all week long. You dance with abandon, love to wiggle and shake and could play dress-up all day long.  You love pretend – be it with your dollhouse or your dump trucks in the sandbox, there is always some sort of involved story unfolding in your mind.

Age 2, helping with your party prep

M, you love to help.  With MAD’s arrival you have taken on your role as big sister with great pride.  You dance and sing for him to make him smile.  You soothe him with gentle pats and belly rubs when he’s crying.  You love laying on the floor to hug and play with him.  You fetch diapers and burp cloths and bring him toys.  He’s the first one you want to see when you wake up and when you get home from school you run to give him kisses.  You’ve struggled a little with having to share daddy and I with him, but overall you are a fantastic big sister and seem to take great pride in your new status.

Your personality has really blossomed this last year, you know exactly who you are and have no desire to be anything but M.  When you are playing dress-up or pretend we ask you if you are Cinderella or Belle and you stand tall, puff out your chest and say “No! I’m a M Princess!”. Of course you want to be a princess for Halloween this year but you didn’t want a Ariel or Snow White dress – you simply requested pretty princess dress.

Age 3 – ready for preschool

At school you’ve mastered the monkey bars – down and back! – even though you’re not tall enough to reach them and need a boost.  You’ve long given up your tricycle in favor of a bike with training wheels.  You love to show off your skipping skills and the swing in the backyard has helped you learn to pump with both your feet. You still love the water and are strong enough to swim the width of the pool underwater.  You love doing belly flops and cannon balls, climbing out and jumping back in for as long as we can stand it.  You are in constant motion and are so fearless that even your teachers now point out a new scrape or bruise and say “She was just being M!”.

You are constantly talking, retelling some event of the day or coming up with an amazing story.  You’re so animated – using your whole body to relay your message.  You absorb everything and remember it forever.  Your dad and I are always looking at each other, eyebrows raised, over some memory you tell – how can you possibly remember that?  A new habit is asking a question and if you’re not satisfied with the answer you will argue that it’s wrong.  Oy – the teenage years are going to be fun!  You want to be a “science girl”, a “worker man” and a mommy when you grow up.  I think you can do anything.

Four!
Obviously your favorite color is pink

I can’t wait to see what the next year brings.

Love,

Mama


The Kindergarten Question

With M’s 4th birthday quickly approaching I am of course already thinking about next year and how that would mean kindergarten and OMG my baybeee!  But then a few weeks ago I came across this post about “red-shirting” kids for kindergarten and the comments made my head spin.  Parents of developmentally-normal kids holding back children who are 5 ½? Parents of kids with March and April birthdays considering them “on the cusp”? I mean, I know that parents of kids whose birthdays were within 60 days of the start of school have always red-shirted but kids who are of age by 6-8 months?  I was floored. 

As it is, our district has a cut off of September 30… her birthday is on the 23rd. If she starts next year she would still be 4 for the first six weeks of school. Other schools in the state have a cut off of August 30, so in the next district over this wouldn’t even be a question – she would have one more year of preschool.  In other areas of the country the cut-off is December 30 so she would be right in the middle of the pack in those schools.  And even though it’s almost a year away, if you follow me on Twitter you know I am totally stressing over this.

First off, I am also a September birthday and was always the youngest in my class.  My mom, a teacher, started me “early” because I was a tall kid and she was worried that my size would be more pronounced if she waited another year. (As an aside: I was the tallest kid in my class until the boys caught up in 4th grade.  I’m a pretty average 5’ 8” now). I did fine in school.  More than fine.  I was in advanced classes from 2nd grade on.  The only downfall I can think of was having to beg rides off people until I got my license and not being able to go to any of the 18+ clubs for the first few weeks of college. 

But!  That was when it was rare for anyone to hold back kid for any reason other than real development issues.  But now, talking to some people in the area I’m finding it’s common for kindergarten entry to be delayed until 5 ½ – 6. For one, I don’t think that’s fair for teachers to have to deal with that wide of an age range.  Secondly, WHY? Why are parents doing this? So their better in sports later in life? So they are the smartest, biggest, best in the class? This is infuriating!

I think M will be ready.  She already knows her letters and can read several sight words.  She’s got some math under her belt and has been in full-day preschool/daycare since she was a baby.  She thrives at school.  But, she’s also on the small side for her age (32 lbs, 37 inches) and has the normal lack of impulse control you’d find in any almost-4 year old.

Second, while she’s used to a full-day of school she’s also used to being in a class with only 6-8 classmates, not 20 or 25.  She’s used to naps and lots of one-on-one interaction.  She adores her school, the teachers and we love the facility.  We live in a fantastic school district and I have no worries about the quality of the curriculum and teachers but the idea of thrusting her into that environment so young does bother me.  Especially when she might be dealing with kids 12-18 months older than her as classmates.

Finally, I wouldn’t be truthful if I didn’t admit that the financial side of things weighs heavily in the start sooner column.  Daycare cost is, I’m not kidding you, the same as it would be to send her to my college alma mater – WITH room and board!  (And her tuition is about the same as other full-time programs we’ve looked into, so there’s no savings to be had).  Even though we’d still be paying for before and after care, our budget would get a huge boost.

So, what’s your stance?  Did you start a kid early or red-shirt?  If you did hold back for a spring birthday – why?  If you’re a teacher I’d really love to hear your thoughts on this!

Right now I’m leaning towards waiting one more year.  But, we will talk with her teachers and meet with the school’s principal this winter to discuss what’s best for M.  I’m just feeling almost forced to red-shirt based on the actions of others.

New Stuff & Hand-Me-Downs

In other random, baby news there are some products that have changed in the 3 years since I had M.  I remember that the Aden + Anais muslin swaddlers* were just hitting the scene when she was about 6 months old.  I thought they were overpriced and kind of pointless.  But, during one of my many lunch-time Target runs during this pregnancy I saw that they made a line for Target that cost $29.99.  I hesitated and it paid off because they went on clearance.  I snagged the last set of 4 for $14.99.  And let me tell you they are priceless.  I use them every. single. day.  Especially for a summer baby because they are so lightweight.  Perfect for swaddling (which MAD still loves), but also a great nursing cover, light blanket to ward off overzealous air conditioning, a stroller cover for when he’s sleeping – it still lets the breeze through.  I don’t worry so much about it covering his face because it’s so breathable.  I haven’t used any of the dozens of receiving blankets we have in favor of the Aden + Anais muslins. Honestly – best impulse buy ever!  I would buy the full price set for a baby shower gift in a heartbeat. 

Also, the Sleep Sheep.  I thought they were cute, but (again) pricey and unnecessary.  Fast forward to this week when they put one in his crib at daycare and he fell asleep in minutes with no fussing.  I’ve watched it work its magic myself during several of my visits.  We will be sheep-hunting this weekend, for sure! 

His room has M’s old crib (which belonged to her 2 cousins before her).  It’s (gasp!) a drop side and I have no intention to replace it.  Don’t get me started on how stupid I think the crib recall is. Over 3 million cribs have been recalled for 36 deaths in 3 years, all of which were the result of either a broken part or user error. That’s a .00012% failure rate.  Your baby has a better chance of being struck by lightning then getting caught in a faulty crib.

More babies die every year from suffocation in blankets, bumpers and toys than from defective cribs, yet you don’t see them recalling the cutesy, insanely expensive crib bedding sets.  I had to MacGyver a flat bed sheet to be a crib skirt since I couldn’t find anything that wasn’t part of a set! Why would I want a crib-size quilt or bumpers when you aren’t supposed to put a baby and those things in a crib at the same time?  I just wanted something to cover up the space between the raised bed and the drawer below and the one we had in M’s room doesn’t match the walls in MAD’s room.  Seriously new moms, here is what you need: 2-3 sheets, 2-3 waterproof mattress pads/covers and a crib skirt (aesthetic reasons only).  Maybe down the line you might get this.  I just saved you $200.

Whew! Sorry, I think I just got way too worked up over baby bedding.  Moving on…

All the hand-me-down stuff I got for M (play gym, bouncy seat, portable swing, pack-n-play) is holding up fine. That is except for the Bumbo.  A friend gave me hers when M was a baby.  I loved it, she loved it – for all of about 3 months.  It’s a great invention, just not worth the $35 retail price for such a short time.  So in the spirit of paying it forward, I passed it on to someone with the intention of getting it back, but then we moved and oh well – I’d just get a used on from Craigslist. 

However, I didn’t think to ask if the owner smoked because what kind of asshole smokes around a baby?  Apparently the person I bought it from is just that kind of an asshole.  And foam rubber soaks up odors because it’s a sponge.  So, after Googling and Tweeting for advice, I sealed it up in a plastic bag with a huge dose of vinegar and a jar of baking soda for a week.  Last night, after a week in solitary deodorization confinement I removed it and …. It still stinks.  Guess that’s a wasted $20 and I’ll probably shell out the $35 to get a new one.  At least I know I can get $20 back on Craigslist in a few months. (I’m still a huge advocate of buying used baby gear, though – just stick with resale shops where you can give things the sniff test!) 

So, to any of you newer moms – what’s your “must have” item? What am I missing out on since I avoid Babies R Us at all costs? Veteran moms, what was the most useless/impractical thing you bought for your first?

*I got nothing from Aden+Anais.  I bought my own swaddles and love them so I’m telling you about them.

Second Verse, Not the Same as the First

I know I shouldn’t do this. Heck, I’m the youngest of 3 and I know what it’s like growing up with constant comparisons to older siblings.  But I just can’t help drawing the lines between M’s babyhood and MAD’s.  

  • – M was an awful sleeper.  She was 5 months before she slept a consistent 6 hours at night.  We never dared check on her after putting her down because she would wake up the instant we entered her room. MAD slept his first straight 8 hours at 6 weeks.  By 8 weeks it was consistent.  Nothing wakes the kid up, not even the dog barking at the mailman.  Now at 12 weeks he’s clocking 9-10 hours a night without a wake-up, even when I check on him.  It’s awesome.

 

  • – At 11 weeks MAD was 15 pounds.  M didn’t reach that weight until 21 weeks!

 

  • – M never, ever took a bottle.  We tried every kind, every trick, and every method from 3 weeks to 5 months before giving up.  We didn’t want the same problem with MAD so we started him on one bottle of formula a day in the hospital, despite the warnings from the lactation consultant. He did fine going back and forth from me to it and I was confident I would not be tethered to him by a 3-hour leash like I was his sister.   
    That was until about 6 weeks when all of a sudden he started refusing all bottles. Since then we’ve tried pumped breast milk, different formulas, new bottles, and different temperatures.  He wouldn’t take it. You can imagine my stress as I got ready to come back to work.  My job now isn’t nearly as flexible as it was then (although I still have the same amazingly understanding boss). We kept working on it and found that the Playtex Drop-In bottles with rubber nipples (not the exact same ones in silicone – no way!) were the only thing he could be coaxed to accept.  But then he would only take about an ounce and only from me.
    So I prepared to make 2 trips to daycare each day to feed him, although I still sent 2 2-oz. bottles for them to try. Day 1 he wouldn’t take a drop.  Day 2 he drank both bottles with no fuss.  Today I sent 2 4-oz. bottles and am keeping my fingers crossed he is cooperative.  I really need to only go over at lunch, or my productivity in the office is going to be nil.
     
  • – Speaking of bottles, I know this is probably way TMI but I am astonished at my pumping output this time.  With M, ever hopeful that she would take a bottle, I pumped for 4 months.  The most I ever produced from a 30 minute double pumping session was 4 oz.  You can imagine my heartbreak when I had to pour 45 pouches of breast milk down the drain when we gave up the bottle attempts with her.   
    This time 20 minutes gives me 6-10 oz. easily.  Every single time I stare at the full bottles and marvel.  It was so hard last time, and while it’s still not any more comfortable or glamorous it’s so much more worthwhile to see decent output.  Add to it that he’s, you know, actually drinking it and it makes it much less demanding to sit through those god-awful pumping sessions.
    Now, I know putting this in writing is all going to curse me and he’ll start taking 16 oz a day from a bottle and I won’t be able to keep up!

 

So far MAD has been a very easy baby.  I think it’s because of the sleep.  Anything is easier when you get 8 hours of sleep!

What about other mothers? Did you find yourself marveling at how different things were from one kid to the next? For the second (or third, or fourth) did you prepare yourself for some “problem” that never happend that time around or take steps to prevent something that happened anyway?

Happy Father’s Day

He didn’t want kids when we met.  No way, no how.  But I knew better.  I saw the father he could be buried beneath everything else.

8 years later he became a father.

And she instantly wrapped him around her little finger and showed him how to be a great Daddy.

Now, he’s a father twice over.  And he’s just as smitten with the little dude as he is with her.

Happy Father’s Day to my husband.  I knew you had it in you to be an incredible dad.

With the coffee mug M made for him at school

Future Farmers of Suburbia

M has really been craving some mommy-time, so today I kept her home from school and we had an adventure.  We started at Patterson’s Strawberry Farm (hat tip to Classy Chaos for scouting the fields last year) where we picked and ate over 5 lbs of luscious berries.

Actually, she picked 95% of them.  I had MAD strapped to my chest and he got cranky every time I squatted down to do my own picking.  Either way, we have a bunch of sweet, juicy strawberries to consume.  I don’t think it will be a problem.

Once MAD had is fill of hanging out in the Bjorn, we headed up the road to Lake Farmpark.  One of the first things we did was head to the Dairy Room to meet their new calf, Unity and watch the other cows get milked. After that, we used the milk to make Farmer’s Cheese.  M was one of 2 girls there, so it was really hands on but they wouldn’t let us taste it since the milk was raw (bummer!).

After a nice picnic lunch we explored the barns.  We saw and petted sheep, piglets, goats, hens, cows, llamas, alpacas, and horses. We saw working beehives, explored the gardens and ran around the paths.
Then M asked to ride a horse.  She’s asked before but once the time came to get on the pony she got scared. I kept reminding her that I couldn’t do it with her, and she’d be on her own.  She surprised me by bravely getting on the pony and riding it around the ring twice! I was so proud of her.  Even though she looked alternately bored and scared, she said she had fun.
I had visions of keeping her home one day a week during my leave, but today, while awesome, was exhausting.  Juggling her wanting my attention and the needs of MAD (who actually slept most of the time, but also screams bloodily murder when he’s hungry and had an impressive diaper blow-out) left me whipped.  Ending the day in a frantic dash home to get the dog to a forgotten grooming appointment didn’t help my stress level.  SAHParents have my full respect.
—–
In other farming news, my patio garden which 4 weeks ago was this:
Is now this:
21 tomato plants (many in a storage container because I ran out of pots!), herbs, beans, broccoli and lettuce.  It’s a jungle out there.

My Girl

As we barrel towards the arrival of our new family addition (arriving 4/17 via induction, in case you haven’t heard) I find myself marveling at our first born.  All of a sudden she seems so grown up and I know this feeling will intensify when the baby arrives.  But, this kid, I just love her so much.

For spring break her daycare/preschool was shut down for a week and a half.  We swapped days with another family so no one had to take more then 2 days off.  But having 2 days to spend with this amazing child was just what I needed.  In keeping with my motto “if kids aren’t IN the house, they can’t mess it up” we had lots of excursions.  We went to Preston’s Hope Playground, made brownies for snack, hiked at Shaker Nature Center, traveled out to Playground World for the morning and spent a glorious afternoon at the Cleveland Botanical Gardens. Her partner in crime was a friend’s son who attends the same school is about 6 months older then her – they’ve known each other since birth.

What was so fascinating about these couple of days was just watching how M interacts with other kids.  We don’t do many playdates (with the whole full-time-working, crazy weekend thing) around here, so watching and listening as I waddled my pregnant self after them was eye opening.  Seeing her adjust and change on a dime, negotiate who got to do what first, when she decided to play by herself rather then play with him, the painful twinge in seeing my own shyness manifest itself in her around unknown children… it was all just really cool to see it unfold in front of me.

Back at home she’s been so attentive and cuddly.  She’s prone to crawl in my lap and proclaim me the “best mama in the world” at any moment.  She’ll stop what she’s doing just to tell me she loves me.  She’ll run over to me mid-dance to give me a kiss and will then kiss my belly.  I get gifts of dandelions and pretty leaves every evening and each morning she lifts up my shirt and tells the baby ‘good morning’.  This is not to say that she is some magical perfect child – oh, no way! She still has her tantrums, doesn’t listen and tends to ignore you if she doesn’t like what you are saying.  But the good is far outweighing the bad right now.

With spring here we spend a lot of times outside and she’s so interested in everything around us: “What kind of tree is that?” “What’s the name of that flower?” “What kind of bird is singing?”  She comes home from school and retells elaborate, detailed stories about her day. She can spell her name and write the letters (more or less). At her swim lessons she plunges fearlessly into the water and is getting quite good at propelling herself underwater.  Her memory is amazing and she will randomly compare something she sees/hears to something that happened over a year ago.  Every night, after an epic and sometimes comedic period of stalling her bedtime, she will lay in her bed and talk or sing to herself for up to an hour.  While I can get a tad annoying when she’s still up at 9:00, I also can’t help but giggle a little at everything I hear. 

There is truth to the saying “every age is the best age” and I have certainly felt that myself.  She’s getting so grown up so fast. But right now there are several moments each day that my heart just feels like it will burst with love and pride for this girl and I want to remember every second.

Make Me a Match

I’ve mentioned before that M attends a Jewish-based preschool/daycare although we are not Jewish.  We made this choice for several reasons and she has flourished since she started there almost 2 years ago. 

One of the fantasic side-effects of this choice is that Mark and I are learning a lot about the Jewish faith and culture.  This year we studied up on Hanukkah and lit the candles on the Menorah M made at school.  Last year was my first experince of Purim and we also helped her class decorate their Sukkot.  M has taught us parts of their weekly classroom Shabbat ritual. 

More recently we’ve noticed that M checks out food lables to see if the product is Kosher.  Her school is not fully Kosher but many of the children who attend are, and any class snacks must be marked as such.  Apparently she has picked up on what to look for!

This week her class has been cleaning their room in preperation of Passover.  They have been talking about the story and rituals of the holiday and having practice Seders before the school-wide Seder which was held yesterday. 

A couple of days ago I got an email from daycare while I was at work.  They wanted to share a photo of M and a classmate as they practiced for Passover:

My first thought, after a loud “awww!” escaped from my lips was of Tzeitel and Motel in Fiddler on the Roof

I’m pretty sure there is a Yenta nearby!

M’s Birth Story

I swear this isn’t going to be an all-birth/pregnancy-stories-all-the-time blog, but I’ve been revisiting things I wrote in the last weeks of my previous pregnancy and first weeks of being a parent.  It’s what’s on my mind right now, so bare with me as I remember and share some of these stories.

M was due on 9/15.  My midwife, Abby, was a bit concerned about the amount of amniotic fluid (I had too much).  That along with a period of days with no midwife on-call at the hospital and already being dilated several cm prompted me to have my membranes stripped on 9/15 in the hopes of jump starting labor.  We went into the office early on Friday morning for the procedure and came home, hoping to head to the hospital at anytime.  By late afternoon, with not one contraction, we figured it wouldn’t happen.  I returned to work on Monday, trying to work as much as possible in an attempt to extend my maternity leave to the holiday shut down in December.  We returned to the midwife on the afternoon of 9/22 and decided to have my water broken the next day.  An ultrasound said that “Baby D” was just over 8 pounds and the amniotic fluid had reduced to a more normal level.  Abby tried stripping the membranes again, in the hopes of getting things started (it failed, again).

Saturday morning arrived and we went to iHop for a big breakfast.  I was admitted to the hospital very close to our house in Toledo around 8:15 and we were lucky to get the birthing suite with the labor tub as we requested.  We settled in while our nurse, Velma, asked all sorts of questions and took my vitals.  I even requested for the TV to be on so we could watch college football – Michigan vs. Wisconsin (yes, I’m that much of an awesome wife)!

Abby broke my water at 10:15 AM and I was immediately happy this had not happened at home and that I was in a place equipped to deal with the mess.  Mild contractions started within 15 minutes.  I felt better while I was up and about so Mark and I spent a lot of time walking up and down the hallway of the labor and delivery ward, having mild contractions and hoping things would get moving.  Every time I laid back down, contractions stopped.  Around 12:30 I laid down and rolled to my right side and I was struck with severe light headed-ness and nausea.  Mark helped me to the bathroom and I got sick and felt better, but realized I was very hungry.  I had some crackers, jell-o and ginger ale to get my blood sugar back up.  After I was feeling better, Velma filled the tub and I got in.  It was very relaxing and the contractions, which had been getting stronger, felt so much easier but came faster in the warm water.  After about 20 minutes in the warm water, I got the urge to push and things got moving.

Again, lying down on my back felt uncomfortable and stopped the contractions, so Mark helped support me as I semi-squatted and pushed while standing.  Abby suggested that I labor on my knees and adjusted the bed so I could kneel on the end and support my upper body on the top of the bed.  I was an odd position, but it worked very well for me.  Contractions started coming faster and the pushing, while it hurt, was not nearly as bad as I expected.  Mark was great, getting me water when I needed it, keeping a cold washcloth on my neck and encouraging me to keep going.  Abby was great, explaining to me what was happening and what I needed to do.  After about 30 minutes, Baby D started to crown and I lost my will to go drug-free, saying “I can’t do this” and  “This needs to be over”.  The pain was intense, but between contractions was all calm.  Abby, Velma & Mark were all very positive and encouraging as I proceeded.  Abby worked me through the crowing and I felt the head come out.  Two pushes later and I heard Mark say “it’s a girl!”.  It was 3:03 PM.  I was shaking and disoriented as they placed M on the bed between my arms.  I was scared to hold her as my hands were shaking and my arms were half-asleep from leaning on them.  Mark helped wipe her down and he cut the cord.  Velma and Mark took her to the warming table while Abby helped my turn over and lie down.  I started shaking again and Velma brought me M.  I was overwhelmed – tired and excited all at once.  I couldn’t believe I had just birthed this little baby, all without any drugs and it happened so fast.  It all seemed a blur.

All of a sudden I felt the need to push again and out came the placenta.  Velma and Mark took M to weigh her while Abby gave me three stitches. They brought me M and I tried nursing but she wouldn’t latch on.  She finally did but only stayed on for a short time.   Mark, M and I hung out for awhile while we continued to try to nurse.  Mark made phone calls to family and friends announcing the news and we just kept staring at this tiny baby, who weighed in at 7 lbs 1 oz.

About an hour and a half after the birth M and I were wheeled down to the postpartum rooms.  M went to the nursery with Mark for her first bath and I went to the room.  I settled into the room, took a shower and tuned into the OSU game while the nurse brought me dinner.  Mark came back and M followed about 30 minutes later, after being under the warmer post-bath.

My parents, who were at a BGSU football game, came to meet their granddaughter and stayed for a short time.  That night, Mark stayed at the hospital with me after running home to let Mac out.  Although I had been adamant pre-birth that M stay in my room all night, I finally did have a nurse take her down to the nursery since every tiny move and noise she made kept me awake.  Other then being a little tired I was fine – no pain or anything and M became a champion nurser in no time.  My sister and brother visited the next day and we all just sat around the small hospital room chatting and staring at M.  I insisted Mark go home that night so he would get one last night of good sleep while I again sent M to the nursery and a nurse brought her to me for feedings.

The next morning, exactly 48 hours after my water was broken we arrived home as a family of 3.

Tiny Dancer

Dozens of calls, 2 hours of lunch time burned, 3 trips to the Capezio Store and we have a little ballerina:

TimidBallerina

For the first 10-15 minutes of the class she stood by herself and refused to move, prefering to just watch the 2 older girls dance from afar (another younger girl wouldn’t even go out on the floor).

Dance_wand

When the teacher brought out the fairy wands, M warmed up to the idea of dancing.  Then the introduction of shakers and little drums sealed the deal.

Dance_scarf

By the time the scarves came out, she was loving it! She can’t wait for her next class.

Thanks to for the comments on my previous post about signing up EARLY and over the summer.  If she likes the rest of these classes we’ll look into something more long-term for next fall.