I hate to come back with a complain-y post but I’m feeling a bit blog-blocked right now. New job has me timid about what I say online. Also new job for me + new job for husband = no time for anything else right now. So, forgive me as I rant a bit about drivers in the CLE suburbs and issue some reminders.
1. A 4-way stop at a boulevard is still a 4-way stop. The divider of grass in the middle doesn’t mean you can ignore what’s coming from the left and right.
2. A 4-way stop at a wide intersection (*cough* South Park & Eaton *cough*) still means you have to stop. All the way. If you try to roll your way through I WILL creep and crawl my way through the intersection, forcing you to stop. And no, just because you stopped when the car in front of you stopped, does not mean you are next in line to go through. You still have to pull up to the stop sign and not just sit 2 car-lengths back.
3. If you are dropping your kid off at a preschool that has room for 5-6 cars parallel parked in front, DO NOT leave 9 feet of space between your car and the one in front of you! Likewise, if you are in the front spot, pull all the way up for the love of god. Those 4 feet of space you left in front means one less car can park there and I now have to drive around to the other parking lot. Common sense, courtesy, things you should have learned in driver’s ed – use them!
4. Being allowed to turn on red does not mean you can turn right in front of someone (I’m looking at you, ladies in SUVs leaving the JCC).
5. My dear westsiders, I know that the whole traffic circle thing is confusing. Circles are round; there are no comforting, pointy corners or stop signs for you. Infinity scares you. But please, please pick a side and stick with it – drive on the inside or outside – NOT in the middle of the 2 lanes. When all else fails, just drive around the circle again. Bonus points for saying “Look kids! Big Ben…House of Parliament!” as you do. We won’t laugh at you too much. (Note: perhaps it’s the traffic circles that make people bad at rolling stop signs as mentioned in #2. Hmmm.)
6. If you drive 45 MPH on my one-block, residential street you are an awful driver and, most likely, an awful person.
7. If you are crossing the street at a busy intersection, I would suggest you do so at a decent clip and not while checking your phone.
8. If you ride your bike to work I will think you are an awesome person who is fit! and environmentally friendly! And I will fist bump your hipster self. That is until I see you flagrantly ignore a stop sign or red light and I have to slam on my breaks because you think you don’t have to follow the rules. Then I will have fantasies of you and your raggedy beard meeting the grill of my car.
I think that’s all for today. What are your biggest road rants?