Who Are The Weirdos in Your Neighborhood?

We live on a pretty short street.  It’s quiet and there are several elderly people here who have been in their homes for 30 or more years. It’s a nice little suburban setting with people walking their dogs, kids learning to ride their bikes and weirdos mowing lawns barefoot.

Wait, let be back up. When we moved in the woman across the street who is about my mother’s age, came over quite a bit to chat with us as we were playing outside. One of the first things she mentioned was Bob*, the neighborhood odd-job man. “He’s a little odd.” she said “but he’s harmless”. If I remember correctly she said he grew up on the street and was just a normal kid. He went to college and came back a “little off” as she said. Having lived here now almost 3 years I’m going to guess that Bob had some kind of mental episode while at college because the dude is not right. And he creeps me out.

He does indeed do odd-jobs for many of the older folks on our street. He mows lawns, walks dogs, rakes leaves. But he does all of this barefoot and early in the morning. Every Thursday all summer long at 7:45 AM we’d hear the mower start up next door and sure enough he’d be out there, rain or shine, mowing their lawn. Ever see someone mow grass barefoot in a thunderstorm? Weird.

He wears the same thing just about everyday – cut off jean shorts, a ball cap and an old ratty t-shirt. Buddy Holly glasses. No shoes. A bright yellow rain slicker if needed. I would guess that he’s in his mid-fourties or early fifties. He moves between the close-set yards quickly and quietly, often cruising up a driveway on his bike. It never fails to startle me to see him walk by my kitchen window that faces our neighbor’s driveway.

I always thought Bob lived in a slightly unkept house a few doors down as he seemed to come and go from their property a lot. Then, this summer, our new babysitter who has lived in the house catty-corner behind us her whole life, revealed to me that he lives in her neighbor’s garage! He lives in his van right behind us! Turns out that the house behind us is vacant – has been for over 5 years (and here we thought it was old people who were snowbirds). The house is now owned by the son of the previous owners and he allows Bob to live in the garage during the summers in exchange for keeping up the house and property. I had heard music coming from that garage in the evenings many times and had always just assumed someone used it as a workshop. Silly me.

Now is the time of the year that Bob disappears for the winter and I have to say I am relieved. He seems harmless. He’s very kind and we even had him mow our lawn once while on vacation. I’ve never heard anything but good things about him. But he still gives me the creeps. And I’m never totally comfortable with M playing alone outside when I know he could pop up just over the fence anytime. Call me over-protective if you want, but the dude is weird.

So, who are the weirdos in your neighborhood? The people that you meet /when you’re walking down the street/ the people that you meet each day?

*You know his name is not Bob, right?

UPDATED: In case you were wondering, today (11/11) he started at 7:41 and is wearing a winter parka and an ear-flap hat with his jorts.

Running Man

Back in May we took a few-weeks old MAD and M and headed to downtown Cleveland to cheer on one of my college friends who was running the Cleveland Marathon. We caught him around mile 17 on the lake shore and erupted into cheers and shook our cow bells and waved our signs. Then we loaded back into the car and drove to the finish line where we cheered for him again.  Tom is a fast runner so we were in place to see the first athletes cross the finish line right around the 2:30 mark. Tom ended up in 38th place out of nearly 12,000 finishers. Not bad for someone who smoked and drank with the best of them back in college.  On the drive home Mark said he wanted to run the same race for his 40th birthday.

I didn’t think much of his comment until later in the summer when he downloaded the Couch to 5k app to his iPhone and started going out a few evenings a week to complete the run/walk training. Every other night without fail he went out after the kids went to bed and in just a few weeks he was running the entire 3.1 miles. I was surprised and impressed by his dedication because I figured it would fizzle out after a few weeks, like most exercise programs. But he caught the running bug and on a Thursday in in August I saw a flyer for a 5k race that weekend and (jokingly) said he should enter.  He did and had a PR of 25 minutes.

Of course he did have the cutest cheering section of all the runners.

With a 5k under his belt he loaded the Bridge to 10k app on his phone and started increasing his runs. This time he had registered for a 10k race just 5 weeks away and had a goal to train towards. Needless to say he was up to 6.2 miles in no time and finished with an impressive 55 minute time.

Before this race M asked if she could cross the finish line with her daddy and I might have teared up a bit when he took her hand for the last few meters of the race. She has so much fun cheering for him and she was so proud to cross the finish line with him.

As soon as that race was over he was back at his every-other-night training. Leaving for 2-hour runs at 8:30 PM, running in the dark and eventually pushing himself to complete over 13 miles.  Of course the search for a half-marathon began and in 2 weeks he’ll be running that race and we’ll be on the sidelines shaking our cowbells, waving our signs and cheering him on.

Over the last 5 months I’ve become a “running widow” and I couldn’t be any more proud.

Season’s Greetings

Now that Halloween is behind us it’s time for the rapid decent into the end-of-year holidays and one of my favorite traditions – the holiday card.

I LOVE holiday cards and look forward to them each year. I love picking photos, searching out the best designs and writing greetings. I also am like a kid in the candy store when it comes to receiving cards. I can’t wait to get to the mailbox each day and I have a huge stack of cards from previous years stashed away with our holiday decorations. If it has a photo I’m keeping it and I’ll pull it out each year and admire it.

I blame my parents for this. They do the dreaded “Christmas Letter” every year (and every year I’m surprised to see what they think my work title is – it changes annually and is never correct). But they also keep all the letters they receive and each year when we are celebrating Christmas at their house both my sister and I pour over the letters and photos. I marvel over old neighbors for whom I babysat – their kids now graduating from college. Or getting a once-a-year update from second or third cousins. I love this tradition.

With a husband who is a designer we’ve gone the custom route before. But, these days it both quicker (have you ever worked with a designer who is his own toughest critic on his personal projects? Good luck getting a final design) and cheaper to go the pre-made route. Plus with the number of layouts to choose from there is a slim chance people will see your card over and over again in their mailbox.

Enter Shutterfly.  I’ve been using Shutterfly since the days when you sent them your film and they sent back your photos. Remember film? Yeah – it’s been that long.  I’ve even managed to get my mom hooked on the site and if it’s easy enough for her to use then anyone can use it. She loves to make photo books for the grandkids – chronicling her adventures with them. Those are some serious treasures; M loves reading her special books as bedtime stores.

Anyway, we’ve used Shutterfly for holiday cards before and will be doing so again this year. Seriously, with over 500 designs to choose from how can you go wrong? But, yeah – 500 designs to chose from. I need you to help me pick. Here are the 3 I’ve narrowed it down to:

I love this one because we had Wonderful World played at our wedding. Plus I would give us the opportunity to show off some of the great photos Heather took of the kids.

I like how this one is part photo card part “family update letter”

I really like how simple this one is and how it doesn’t scream “holiday” from the outside. I could hang a card like this on the fridge and not worry about it being out of season.

So help me pick – tell me which one you like best. And tell me – are you a holiday card collector like me? Do you write a letter or just send a card? Or do you skip it altogether?

Disclosure: I received 50 free holiday cards from Shutterfly for this post.  All opinions are 100% mine and based on previous services/products for which I paid.

Super Heroes Can Sew

It’s no secret that I like to sew. I actually like knitting better but sewing has the instant gratification thing going for it. (Don’t ask me about MAD’s baby blanket that I started knitting almost a year ago). I don’t consider myself a very good seamstress but I can find my way around a sewing machine. In my middle school you had to to take both home ec and shop – something for which I will be forever grateful. My mom taught me how to sew, but Home Ec gave me some structure and cemented most of  my skills since we had to make an article of clothing and a stuffed animal for grades. As a side note – do schools even offer home ec and shop anymore? Those classes taught me some wonderful life skills and everyone (boys and girls) had to take 2 years of each. It was brilliant.

Anyway, while I do plently of sewing for our household I don’t often consider sewing for others. I’m too self-conscious of my lack of skills. I once made roman shades for our friends/neighbors and I was nauseous the entire time I worked on them because I feared screwing them up. I can guarantee that you will never find me on Etsy as I think that kind of pressure would give me an ulcer. So, I stick with fun projects for the kids and easy things like curtains and repairs.

Then Heather posted this pic of a superhero set she made for her nephew I thought “I think can do that!” and we had a birthday party for a 3 year old girl the following Sunday. So, I started looking around the internet and came across a ton of instructions and tutorials. I ended up mostly using this one. As luck would have it, satin is on super-sale due to Halloween. That plus felt and thread and I spent a whopping $7.39 on supplies. I figured it was a pretty small investment and if it sucked we could go buy a more conventional gift. However, I think it turned out pretty well:



Of course, in my sleep deprived and somewhat rushed state, I put the appliques on the wrong sides (I intended for the purple star to be on the pink satin and the pink circle to be on the purple side – oops!). And having never worked with satin before the seams are a bit overworked – that stuff is slippery! But the birthday girl didn’t seem to care & put it on right away:

And, since I was on a sewing roll I whipped up a matching number shirt for her to rock during her 3rd year. Do you know much 3 year olds loving sharing their age? This shirt makes it easy:

The project was so much fun I already have the materials to make a cape for M. And I think I may be taking more handmade gifts to future birthday parties.

Six Months

Dear MAD,

I blink my eye and already you are six months old. A roly-poly, bubble-blowing, smiling baby. No more hint of newborn anywhere to be found.

MAD at 6 months
Photo by the amazing
Heather Durdil

Remember when I told the universe that you were such a great sleeper? Well that promptly ended right after I returned to work. For the past 3 months you have been getting up every 2 hours to eat and nothing we do seems to help. Your daddy tries to soothe you, we try letting you cry it out but nothing short of a meal works. It’s getting really, really old. I don’t mind the midnight feedings on account of your adorable smiles, giggles and raspberry blowing; but the 2 and 4 AM feedings I could do without.

Other than the sleep issues you are a terrifically easy baby. You are content to just watch what is happening around you and when you have a whirling dervish of a big sister there is always something to watch. In fact, no one can bring out your dimples like M. You think she is the funniest thing on the planet. Yesterday you, M and I went to a local farm and you spent nearly 3 hours in the carrier just taking it all in. You never made a peep outside of some laughing at your sister and blowing raspberries. The wide world fascinates you and it brings me so much joy to watch you take it all in.

You’ve been sitting on your own for a few weeks now and want to be upright all the time. This also means a new world of shopping cart rides and highchairs. When you do topple over you like to be on your belly with your head up looking around. You’re also starting to scoot all over the room like an inchworm. I’m not ready for you to crawl yet, so take your time.

We just started daily solid foods as previous attempts were rejected. Now you gobble up oatmeal, sweet potatoes, peas, squash, green beans and prunes with reckless abandon. It won’t be long before you are eating the same things we are and I can’t wait to introduce you to some of our family’s favorite things. As it is now you love watching us eat dinner and are always reaching for our plates and glasses.

In fact you are reaching for everything. You grasp and pull anything that comes into you reach including your sister’s hair and whatever is on the ground. We have to be careful now about dog hair tumble weeds and other hazards. If nothing else this means we have to be better housekeepers. Your Sophie giraffe is your all time favorite toy – you could gnaw and drool on her all day long.

Your easy smiles and deep dimples charm people wherever we go. And daycare reports that you are an easy-going baby who rarely cries. I still get to see you everyday at lunch but that will be phasing out soon. I’ll miss sniffing your fuzzy head and showering a thousand kisses on your cheeks during my afternoon break.

My favorite moments are when you clasp my finger and hold on tight while you’re eating. Or when you put your hands on my cheeks and pull my face close to yours, willing me to blow a zerbert on your cheek. And when your interactions with your sister draw a delighted squeal or belly laugh from you.

I can’t wait for the next six months. Just don’t grow up too fast.

Love,

Mama

Four

Dear M,

Four years ago today you made me a mama and Mark a daddy and taught us how to be a family.  And now you are so very excited to be 4 – a big girl by all measures. It amazes me every day that you are ours, that we get to spend our time with you and that you will always be our baby.

5 hours old

You’ve never been timid about life.  Shy, sometimes, but once you decide to do something you go at it full force.  This is why you are covered with scrapes, bumps and bruises all the time.  You know exactly what you want to do and how you want to do it.  When we are somewhere new you are content to just chill out and observe for a bit.  You need to get the lay of the land.  But as soon as you feel comfortable it’s off to the races with no turning back.

Age 1, at The Toledo Museum of Art in our old neighborhood

You are a very adaptable child, and can usually go with the flow.  You find games and tricks in every little activity.  Now that you can recognize some words you love showing off your “reading” skills.  You excitedly point out letters and numbers and make associations that blow my mind.  A constant craving for new books means we go to the library every weekend for a new stack to devour all week long. You dance with abandon, love to wiggle and shake and could play dress-up all day long.  You love pretend – be it with your dollhouse or your dump trucks in the sandbox, there is always some sort of involved story unfolding in your mind.

Age 2, helping with your party prep

M, you love to help.  With MAD’s arrival you have taken on your role as big sister with great pride.  You dance and sing for him to make him smile.  You soothe him with gentle pats and belly rubs when he’s crying.  You love laying on the floor to hug and play with him.  You fetch diapers and burp cloths and bring him toys.  He’s the first one you want to see when you wake up and when you get home from school you run to give him kisses.  You’ve struggled a little with having to share daddy and I with him, but overall you are a fantastic big sister and seem to take great pride in your new status.

Your personality has really blossomed this last year, you know exactly who you are and have no desire to be anything but M.  When you are playing dress-up or pretend we ask you if you are Cinderella or Belle and you stand tall, puff out your chest and say “No! I’m a M Princess!”. Of course you want to be a princess for Halloween this year but you didn’t want a Ariel or Snow White dress – you simply requested pretty princess dress.

Age 3 – ready for preschool

At school you’ve mastered the monkey bars – down and back! – even though you’re not tall enough to reach them and need a boost.  You’ve long given up your tricycle in favor of a bike with training wheels.  You love to show off your skipping skills and the swing in the backyard has helped you learn to pump with both your feet. You still love the water and are strong enough to swim the width of the pool underwater.  You love doing belly flops and cannon balls, climbing out and jumping back in for as long as we can stand it.  You are in constant motion and are so fearless that even your teachers now point out a new scrape or bruise and say “She was just being M!”.

You are constantly talking, retelling some event of the day or coming up with an amazing story.  You’re so animated – using your whole body to relay your message.  You absorb everything and remember it forever.  Your dad and I are always looking at each other, eyebrows raised, over some memory you tell – how can you possibly remember that?  A new habit is asking a question and if you’re not satisfied with the answer you will argue that it’s wrong.  Oy – the teenage years are going to be fun!  You want to be a “science girl”, a “worker man” and a mommy when you grow up.  I think you can do anything.

Four!
Obviously your favorite color is pink

I can’t wait to see what the next year brings.

Love,

Mama


The Kindergarten Question

With M’s 4th birthday quickly approaching I am of course already thinking about next year and how that would mean kindergarten and OMG my baybeee!  But then a few weeks ago I came across this post about “red-shirting” kids for kindergarten and the comments made my head spin.  Parents of developmentally-normal kids holding back children who are 5 ½? Parents of kids with March and April birthdays considering them “on the cusp”? I mean, I know that parents of kids whose birthdays were within 60 days of the start of school have always red-shirted but kids who are of age by 6-8 months?  I was floored. 

As it is, our district has a cut off of September 30… her birthday is on the 23rd. If she starts next year she would still be 4 for the first six weeks of school. Other schools in the state have a cut off of August 30, so in the next district over this wouldn’t even be a question – she would have one more year of preschool.  In other areas of the country the cut-off is December 30 so she would be right in the middle of the pack in those schools.  And even though it’s almost a year away, if you follow me on Twitter you know I am totally stressing over this.

First off, I am also a September birthday and was always the youngest in my class.  My mom, a teacher, started me “early” because I was a tall kid and she was worried that my size would be more pronounced if she waited another year. (As an aside: I was the tallest kid in my class until the boys caught up in 4th grade.  I’m a pretty average 5’ 8” now). I did fine in school.  More than fine.  I was in advanced classes from 2nd grade on.  The only downfall I can think of was having to beg rides off people until I got my license and not being able to go to any of the 18+ clubs for the first few weeks of college. 

But!  That was when it was rare for anyone to hold back kid for any reason other than real development issues.  But now, talking to some people in the area I’m finding it’s common for kindergarten entry to be delayed until 5 ½ – 6. For one, I don’t think that’s fair for teachers to have to deal with that wide of an age range.  Secondly, WHY? Why are parents doing this? So their better in sports later in life? So they are the smartest, biggest, best in the class? This is infuriating!

I think M will be ready.  She already knows her letters and can read several sight words.  She’s got some math under her belt and has been in full-day preschool/daycare since she was a baby.  She thrives at school.  But, she’s also on the small side for her age (32 lbs, 37 inches) and has the normal lack of impulse control you’d find in any almost-4 year old.

Second, while she’s used to a full-day of school she’s also used to being in a class with only 6-8 classmates, not 20 or 25.  She’s used to naps and lots of one-on-one interaction.  She adores her school, the teachers and we love the facility.  We live in a fantastic school district and I have no worries about the quality of the curriculum and teachers but the idea of thrusting her into that environment so young does bother me.  Especially when she might be dealing with kids 12-18 months older than her as classmates.

Finally, I wouldn’t be truthful if I didn’t admit that the financial side of things weighs heavily in the start sooner column.  Daycare cost is, I’m not kidding you, the same as it would be to send her to my college alma mater – WITH room and board!  (And her tuition is about the same as other full-time programs we’ve looked into, so there’s no savings to be had).  Even though we’d still be paying for before and after care, our budget would get a huge boost.

So, what’s your stance?  Did you start a kid early or red-shirt?  If you did hold back for a spring birthday – why?  If you’re a teacher I’d really love to hear your thoughts on this!

Right now I’m leaning towards waiting one more year.  But, we will talk with her teachers and meet with the school’s principal this winter to discuss what’s best for M.  I’m just feeling almost forced to red-shirt based on the actions of others.

What’s Wrong With Us?

A tiny 8 week old baby started daycare in MADs room this week.  A fragile little boy who still has the translucent skin of a newborn and whose little squawks and squeaks makes my ovaries ache.  And in an instant my heart broke for his parents and my hate of US family leave policies started taking form.  This country has things SO SCREWD UP.

6 weeks.  That is all that 52% of working moms get off with their newborn.  24% only get 4 weeks.  And for 10% of mothers this time, as short as it is, is totally unpaid.  The other 90% get anywhere from 40-100% of their pay via disability – a coverage that they pay into from every other paycheck they receive.  Apparently if you live in the states you want to work for Johnson & Johnson, “The Family Company” where new moms with five years of job nets 26 paid weeks of maternity leave. (Source: Institute for Women’s Policy Research & Working Mother Media, Inc.)

Studies abound about the benefits to all involved – including the company – that comes from extended periods of leave.  Time away from work within the first year back goes down drastically. Long-term (6 months +) breastfeeding increases when leave is longer. Worker productivity is higher upon return when leave is 12 weeks minimum. Heck, the US government’s Department of Health and Human Services has spent hundreds of millions of dollars on ad campaigns to convince moms to exclusively breastfeed for at least six months – money that might be better spent allowing new moms to be WITH their infant those first six months.

Now – before you start crowing about how it’s not fair for those who choose not to have kids for women to get this time off, let me finish.  I’m not just talking about maternity leave here.  I’m talking about FAMILY leave.  FMLA  = Family Medical Leave Act and it can be used for more then just birthin’ babies.

For instance, an acquaintance of ours in Toledo just passed away after battling brain cancer for years.  He and his wife were some of the loveliest people you would ever know and they were the kind of couple that upon meeting them you just know they were meant to be together.  They loved each other fiercely.  They had no children by choice. As you can imagine with brain tumors he underwent years of surgery, illness, good days and bad.  In the end his wife had to return to work the day after his funeral because she had used up all of her FMLA time caring for him in the year before he died. They were together 20 some years and she had no time to grieve his passing.

Another friend just moved to be near her 80-year-old father and become his primary caregiver. She’s in her 40s and is facing a few health issues herself, including an upcoming surgery.  She is worried that if something happens to her dad that requires her to take time off work she would put her job in jeopardy.  She’s single, childless by choice and is worried that if something were to happen that FMLA won’t be enough to protect her only source of income.

I have a feeling that as the Baby Boomers continue to age and start leaning on their adult children – the very people that make up the bulk of working America – that things might slowly change.  If the Boomers and their children start pushing for change that would make up a huge majority of voters who could leverage some action.  Which is sad, because most everyone says that family should come first but we don’t do anything to make sure that it really does.

Scenes from a Commute

I only commute to work about 8 miles each way and it’s mostly through neighborhood streets.  But that doesn’t mean I don’t see some interesting things…

An elderly man, easily in his 80s, riding a Vespa scooter clad in manpris, black socks pulled up over his shins and shiny black loafers.  He capped off his look with a British Zulu-style pith helmet.

———- 

A woman in her 40s jogging along the sidewalk, a wide weightlifting belt around her waist, a thick rope tied to the back and leading to a kid, maybe 9 years old, behind her.  He also has a belt on with the other end of the rope tied to it, Izzy Mandelbaum – style.  The kid was clearly not happy and was tripping along, arms flailing.  I seriously almost called the cops on her. 

———-

An older gentleman on a hot, humid day, in a full church suit, strolling in the dappled shade.  Bright Kelley green coat with wide, white stripes.  Green pants.  Green and white newsboy hat.  A green cane with a gold ball handle.  Shiny white shoes and big sunglasses.

———-

The mean old lady with her humungous straw sunhat, walking on the street, in the middle of my lane (a mere 5 feet from a perfectly level sidewalk).  I wait for oncoming traffic and move to the other lane to pass her but she still turns and shakes her angry fist in my direction for daring to drive my car on the road.

There’s always something to see and it’s always interesting! What do you see on your daily drive?