The boy

Skillz

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In recent conversations, both in-person and online I have been amazed at how many people (both men and women, for the record) who don’t know how to do what I would consider “basic skills”. For instance, the amount of people who drive a car daily but don’t know how to change a tire is fascinating.

I learned how to do it in Drivers Ed because, just like putting gas in a car and checking the oil, it’s part of basic maintenance and operation of a vehicle. And yes, I’ve changed a tire more than once. I’ve also called AAA; but I know that there are times and places where I won’t have cell reception and I am going to be responsible for myself.

Anyway all of this got me thinking of what skills I want my children to have by the time they go to college. This is ever-evolving, of course, but here’s what I have so far:

Car care/operation: Change a tire, check tire pressure, check/add oil (and/or whatever new technology brings), how to read a paper map

Clothes: sew a button, fix a hem, iron, operate a washer and dryer without ruining the clothes. Bonus – if either kid wants to, I will teach them to use a sewing machine.

Home & Garden: start and use a lawn mower, paint, plant flowers, operate a drill and other basic tools, how to install new locks.

Cooking: make perfect chocolate chip cookies, cook a variety of proteins, make bread, make our family’s favorite recipes, make a good marinara sauce, cook perfect eggs, how to follow a recipe, starting a charcoal grill, cooking on a grill.

Maybe part of it was being the youngest of 3 and having “tired” parents, but I did all of these things by the time I was in high school. I mowed the grass in late elementary school. By 4th grade I was let lose in the kitchen without supervision and became the chief cookie and zucchini bread maker for the family. The summer between my 8th and 9th grade years I removed wallpaper and painted several rooms in our new house. I learned to sew from my mother and my middle school required Home Economics* so I furthered my skills there.

I remember being dumbfounded by a college classmate who had no idea how to use the dorm washing machines. I don’t want either of my children to be “that kid”. Beyond that I think that most of these things are simply basic parts of being a functioning adult and it’s my responsibility to teach my kids how to do them.

What “basic” skills do you want to teach your kid? As an adult, what skills do you wish you had?

*we were also required to take Shop where I learned things beyond basic tools like a drill press, table saw and metal working tools. Those classes were the best! I wish schools still required this.

Race Travel Report

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This past weekend we picked up the kids from school early, loaded up the station wagon and drove the 4+ hours down to Cincinnati for Mark’s 1st marathon. To say it was a great weekend would be an understatement. You might think that only runners can write race reports, but spouses who spend hours planning and organizing the logistics of an out-of-town race also have a story to tell…

Such a great traveler (thank god for travel DVD players)

My parents also drove down for the weekend which was not only a nice thing to do (coming to cheer for their son-in-law) but also turned out to be an invaluable asset. The extra hands to help wrangle the kids was a godsend for me as I stressed about getting around on race day. I can’t thank them enough for giving up their weekend and helping out.

On Saturday they took MAD while Mark, M and I headed to the expo. It’s a bit overwhelming being a first timer, but M had a great time checking out the booths and getting freebies. As a runner Mark got a nice backpack and a tech shirt. After we left the expo we decided to check out a bit of the course. It ran right past our hotel at about mile 6.5 which was smack dab in the middle of a major uphill climb. In fact I was worried at the steepness and length of the hills. Mark did a good deal of hill training but the terrain in Cleveland can’t compare to that of Cincinnati. In fact, miles 3 to 9 were all uphill. He wasn’t worried, though. On our drive I tried to scope out where I would cheer and we saw some really beautiful neighborhoods.

Bib secured, pigs ready to fly

We grabbed lunch at nearby Mt. Adams Bar and Grill, which was a very cute and accommodating place with good food. (Once we found parking. Mt Adams is a darling area, but parking is really hard to find). Afterwords Mark and MAD took a nap while my mom, M and I checked out the beautiful Eden Park which was across the street from our hotel. We soaked up the sunshine and warmth while we could – the Sunday forecast had a 90% chance of rain. As it was my first time in Cincinnati-proper I was really impressed with the parks, houses and architecture. Cinci has much more to offer then I had thought.

My mom doesn’t usually have a spout of water coming out of her head

For dinner we headed over to Kentucky for dinner at Pompilio’s. I had researched pasta places extensively and had called the restaurant earlier in the week. While they wouldn’t take reservations they insisted it would only be a 30-45 min wait at 6 PM, even with the Reds game and the marathon. We got there and saw crowds waiting outside. I made my way through the (smokey – I forgot not every state has the same wonderful smoking ban that OH does) bar and the hostess told me it would be a 3 hour wait! Thank goodness for smartphones because we were looking for a new place immediately. We ended up at Martino’s On Vine near the UC campus. It was a great place; not crowded, fantastic service and good prices. My cousin, Carrie, who lives in Blue Ash and my Aunt (from Columbus) came down to join us and it was great to catch up with them. Mark got his big plate of spaghetti and meatballs and was a happy camper.

My parents, wonderful people that they are, offered to take M to the hotel pool then have her sleep in their room on the pull-out couch so Mark would get good sleep. We eagerly accepted since the night before no one really got any sleep with all 4 of us in a single hotel room. I was able to keep MAD pretty quiet all night so Mark was able to get a pretty solid 6 1/2 hours of sleep before is alarm went off at 4:30 on Sunday morning.

Race day is a whole other story…

One

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Dear MAD,

Last Sunday you turned 1. It feels like just a moment ago that you were born, making our family complete, and now you are already ticking off the days until you’re 2.

1 week

Your first year was a pretty easy one, filled with smiles and dimples and not much sleep. I look back over the last year and can’t believe that it’s passed so quickly. Other than your sleep issues, you are an amazingly content baby. It helps that you adore your big sister and she adores you. She loves to entertain you with songs, dances and stories and you are more than happy to be her audience. No one can draw a belly laugh from you like she can.

You started out as a big brute of a baby, topping the growth charts and busting out of clothes in no time. But in the last few months your pace has slowed and you are in clothes that match your age (12-18 months) and sit squarely in the low to middle end of the growth charts. Your one-year check-up clocked you at 21 lbs. 3 oz and 29.5 inches.

 6 months

You aren’t quite walking yet and seem perfectly content to cruise and crawl. You are lightning quick and shoot across the room to harass the dog in no time. You’ve been standing and walking with help for at least 2 months and are just now starting to take a few tentative steps way from the furniture. But as soon as you realize you aren’t holding on you drop down to your knees. You also “walk” on your knees, which is funny to watch. You’ve been able to crawl up the stairs without help for awhile, and it’s one of your favorite things to do.

You love anything and everything that has a button, but you prefer the real thing over toys. Remotes and phones don’t stand a chance with you.

There are still no teeth in your mouth. You’ve been drooling, chewing and cranky as if teeth were coming in for months but so far, nothing. I’m enjoying the extra time with your gummy grin.

At “school” you are now the big man on campus – one of the oldest in the room – and you take charge when you enter. You know the routine and as soon as you get there in the morning you make your rounds.

1 year!

You still take 2 naps – sometimes as long as 3 hours. Getting you to sleep is a breeze and you’re a pretty sound sleeper. But it seems that you can’t go more than 5-6 hours without a cuddle or a snack. As tired as I am from getting up every night, I can’t say I don’t enjoy cuddling and rocking you in the dim light of your midnight room. I’m treasuring them because I know their days are limited.

Happy birthday, my little Madman. I love you with all my heart.

-Mama

Sleep: I gots (Update)

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I’m such an awful blogger. Almost a month has gone by since that last post. I’ve been busy on twitter but not inspired to post here. Why? Because I’ve been SLEEPING.

Yes, I’m not even kidding you to say that on March 4th – one night after my last post about not having any sleep for 13 months – MAD started sleeping 10-12 hours straight. That, right there, is the power of the internet and universe. Put something “out there” and it will change.

The first night I thought it was a fluke. Then he slept 7:30 PM – 7 AM the next night. And the next. He went 10 days like that. Now he wakes up around 5 for breakfast but then he goes back to sleep until 7-7:30. It. Is. Glorious.

Add to that M sleeping in until 8:30 on some weekends. Plus we have taught her (and she actually complies) that she’s not allowed out of her room in the morning until “7 is the first number on her clock”. Not being able to go downstairs at 6:30 has (for now) stopped the early morning waking.

So, that’s where I’ve been…in bed. And reading a book I bought nearly a year ago and haven’t had the energy to read.

If you’ll excuse me, I might need to do this for another 3 months just to catch up.

Sleep, Can I Haz?

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M didn’t sleep through the night until probably 22 months. For her 1st year she was up to eat at least once a night (2-3 times a night for the first six months); I was breastfeeding and she refused a bottle so I was always the one up with her. I perfected the half-awake stumble to her room and would fall asleep in the rocker with her in my arms. I can still clearly remember the first time I got an interrupted 8 hours of sleep when she was a toddler – I felt drunk! I was a bit woozy and light headed and happy all from a single night’s sleep.

Around 6 months we started to try anything anyone suggested. We gave Weissbluth, Ferber, and Hogg each a month each with no improvement. I read Babywise and The No Cry Sleep Solution but they were no help. We spent months going “by the book” but it always made things worse. She would scream for hours on end. Everyone says “give it a few days! It will get shorter every night!” It didn’t. For about 6 months, each night we’d go through the complicated dance of bedtime, following this rule or that one, and she would always wake up and demand attention. We eventually gave in and came up with a solution which basically gave her 10 minutes to go back to sleep and if not one of us would go in, tend to her and be back in our bed in a few minutes. We got used to the interrupted sleep. And around the time she was 2 she slept through the night; around age 3 we could go in her room and check on her – something unheard of in her light-sleeper infant days.

When we got pregnant with MAD I told the universe it owed me a good sleeper.

MAD slept his first straight 8 hours at 6 weeks. By 8 weeks that 8 hour stretch at night was consistent. At 12 weeks he was clocking 9-10 hours a night without a wake-up, even when I would go in and checks on him. It’s was awesome and I thanked the universe.

He’s always gotten up once to eat…in those beautiful weeks when he was sleeping he’d go down between 6 and 7 PM and wake up around 2 or 3 AM to eat, then sleep another 3-4 hours. I would go to bed at 10 and get about 6 hours of sleep before feeding him and another 2-3 hours after. Life was pretty good.

At about 14 weeks it all changed.

MAD started waking up about every 3 hours to eat. Although he’ll take a bottle Sir Stubborn refuses formula of any brand or type. It’s all boob juice all the time (even though he had formula every day for the first 60+ days of his life…at some point he just started refusing it). By this time I was back at work and barley pumping enough to keep up with his daycare bottle needs so the limited supply couldn’t be used at night. I chalked the extra feedings up to a growth spurt and wearily soldiered on.

At 6 months we started some “sleep training” because I was literally falling asleep work from the sleep deprivation. We tried letting him cry. We tried bottles of whole milk (our pediatrician’s suggestion) and water to get him weaned off those night feedings. We tried stuffing him full of food before bed. NOTHING WORKS. This kid needs to/wants to eat every 3-4 hours around the clock. During the day he gets solids and bottles but at night it’s all me. His cry is more of a scream and he’ll scream himself hoarse before he falls back to sleep.

Now we’re staring down 11 months and he STILL gets up twice a night. Usually around midnight and then around 3 or 4. Sometimes Mark can get him settled back to sleep at the second wake-up, but more often than not I have to go in and feed him at some point.

I’ve done the math and thanks to the joy of pregnancy night trips to the bathroom, I haven’t slept more than 6 consecutive hours in over 13 months. I get weepy when I think about it, because all I want is sleep.

Good-Bye 2010

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I can’t believe it’s time for another wrap-up post. When it comes to my adult life, 2010 just flew by faster than any other year I can recall. While I may not me the most prolific blogger or keep to any kind of schedule, I’m so happy I have this place to chronicle our life. I love this family to pieces and this year I feel like we are complete. So, here is 2010 in review:

  • Allowed my daughter to full-fill her ballerina dreams. A year later and she’s still dancing.
  • Had much angst over what order my son’s first and middle names would be.
  • Remained 100% confounded by RITA (Regional Income Tax Authority). I don’t think I will ever get it right.
  • Blogged political. Again.
  • Sat court-side at a few CAVS games.
  • Tried to soak in every final moment of being a family of 3.
  • Gave birth to the mighty MAD.
  • Knew without any doubt that our family of 4 was complete.
  • Took an infant and a preschooler strawberry picking. By myself. (where is my medal?)
  • Celebrated the 10th anniversary of marrying my perfect match.
  • Was lucky enough to become friends with some wonderful local bloggers.
  • Ate several meals from our favorite chef.
  • Saw my girl turn 4.
  • Wrote about a professional athlete on my blog. Ugh. Can’t believe I gave him space.
  • Cheered on my husband as he ran a 5K, a 10K and a half-marathon.
  • Tried to get back into a workout routine (I’m still working on that).
  • Started stressing out about M and Kindergarten. Already.
  • Laughed at something M did or said on a daily basis.
  • Finally visited Velvet Tango Room.
  • Marveled at the boy and how fast his babyhood is going by.
  • Had our family portrait taken. (Thanks Heather, for making us ALL sit in front of your camera!)
  • Marked 3 years of living in the CLE.

2010 was a great year for many reasons. I’m sad to see it go but can’t wait to see what 2011 has to throw our way! Happy New Year!

(Want more? Read 2008 and 2009)

Merry Christmas

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As I mentioned last year, we do our big family Christmas gathering before the day itself. Last weekend we were in Lima where M got to go crazy with her cousins and MAD got to meet his oldest cousin for the 1st time.  While we were there shots were taken

cousins were met and adored

cookies were decorated

cracker houses were constructed

and the snow was played in

And that was just one day! More family came to visit on Sunday and we all came home exhausted but happy.

With family obligations out of the way, it gave us the last 2 days to just relax at home and make our own traditions and memories. One tradition is that we open gifts from my college BFF “Aunt Linds” on Christmas Eve.  She spoils my kids rotten.

Last night Santa stopped by and loaded up the tree.

And this morning M was thrilled to find a stocking full of Christmas books (one of the things she asked the big guy to get for her) and tickets to see Toy Story on Ice

From us she got more books including a beautifully illustrated Nutcracker to mark her 1st year of seeing the ballet. And she also found a brand new musical jewelry box under the tree. She has been fascinated with the old beat-up one from my childhood so we decided she needed her own. She was delighted

MAD got several board books from Santa, much to his gnawing pleasure.

From us he got a “fill and spill” toy and… more books.  We are a nerdy bunch.

Overall it was a wonderful holiday, which wouldn’t be complete without the obligatory pajama shot:

Too Fast

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How did this tiny little thing

Become this big guy already?

How did he figure out how to do this so soon?

And this…

And this?

Someone tell him to slow down. It’s going too fast.

Six Months

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Dear MAD,

I blink my eye and already you are six months old. A roly-poly, bubble-blowing, smiling baby. No more hint of newborn anywhere to be found.

MAD at 6 months
Photo by the amazing Heather Durdil

Remember when I told the universe that you were such a great sleeper? Well that promptly ended right after I returned to work. For the past 3 months you have been getting up every 2 hours to eat and nothing we do seems to help. Your daddy tries to soothe you, we try letting you cry it out but nothing short of a meal works. It’s getting really, really old. I don’t mind the midnight feedings on account of your adorable smiles, giggles and raspberry blowing; but the 2 and 4 AM feedings I could do without.

Other than the sleep issues you are a terrifically easy baby. You are content to just watch what is happening around you and when you have a whirling dervish of a big sister there is always something to watch. In fact, no one can bring out your dimples like M. You think she is the funniest thing on the planet. Yesterday you, M and I went to a local farm and you spent nearly 3 hours in the carrier just taking it all in. You never made a peep outside of some laughing at your sister and blowing raspberries. The wide world fascinates you and it brings me so much joy to watch you take it all in.

You’ve been sitting on your own for a few weeks now and want to be upright all the time. This also means a new world of shopping cart rides and highchairs. When you do topple over you like to be on your belly with your head up looking around. You’re also starting to scoot all over the room like an inchworm. I’m not ready for you to crawl yet, so take your time.

We just started daily solid foods as previous attempts were rejected. Now you gobble up oatmeal, sweet potatoes, peas, squash, green beans and prunes with reckless abandon. It won’t be long before you are eating the same things we are and I can’t wait to introduce you to some of our family’s favorite things. As it is now you love watching us eat dinner and are always reaching for our plates and glasses.

In fact you are reaching for everything. You grasp and pull anything that comes into you reach including your sister’s hair and whatever is on the ground. We have to be careful now about dog hair tumble weeds and other hazards. If nothing else this means we have to be better housekeepers. Your Sophie giraffe is your all time favorite toy – you could gnaw and drool on her all day long.

Your easy smiles and deep dimples charm people wherever we go. And daycare reports that you are an easy-going baby who rarely cries. I still get to see you everyday at lunch but that will be phasing out soon. I’ll miss sniffing your fuzzy head and showering a thousand kisses on your cheeks during my afternoon break.

My favorite moments are when you clasp my finger and hold on tight while you’re eating. Or when you put your hands on my cheeks and pull my face close to yours, willing me to blow a zerbert on your cheek. And when your interactions with your sister draw a delighted squeal or belly laugh from you.

I can’t wait for the next six months. Just don’t grow up too fast.

Love,

Mama