general musings

Choosy Idiots Choose Jif

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My husband got this in an email from a local chapter of a professional association for designers:

 “I make lunches, I car pool, I workout, I run errands, I volunteer, I’m in meetings, I pay bills, I manage, I organize, I design, I help with homework, I cook, I read bedtime stories. I’m a mom.”

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot. This is really the message you want to me sending to all of your members? That you have to have a vagina to be capable of doing all of those things?

A few weeks ago as I was elbow deep in baking – one of my favorite things to do – I sent a quick post on facebook thanking Mark for taking M and running 2 blocks to the store to get me more yeast while I continued to make bread. The responses were ridiculous. It was as if he had cured a major malady, such was the outpouring of “what a wonderful man”, “you are so lucky” and “I hope to have a husband like that some day”.

Again, what the hell? Yes it was nice, but he ran a 10 minute errand for me 1) because he knows I enjoy baking and 2) because he’s going to be eating the damn delicious homemade bread.

Nothing gets him or I more riled up than this crazy assumption, one played upon by the media, that fathers are bumbling, no-help idiots. Guess what? In our house Mark is the one who makes M’s lunch – every single morning. He also does the laundry and, since MAD was born, is solely responsible for M’s bath and bedtime stories.

We are a partnership – equal partners and parents to the fullest extent. We both car pool, cook and run errands. We both work (and make very similar salaries), do housework, yard work, grocery shop and workout. We carve out time for each other but also make sure the other has time to pursue a social life and hobbies. I go workout with a trainer while he takes both kids to M’s ballet class. He spends 2-3 hours each Sunday on his marathon training long runs while I run errands with the kids. I enjoy a monthly(ish) girls night out and he goes for beers with friends or freezes his ass off watching the Browns lose.

We help each other out. He wants new running socks and I’ll take a lunch hour to go buy him some. I’m missing an ingredient and he’ll run to the store for me. To me this is normal; it’s how it “should be”. The work/marriage/life balance is crazy hard. Sometimes we both feel like we are getting the short end of the stick, but we put major effort into helping each other out. I might cringe at M’s hair when Mark does it and I know he cringse when I’m the one trying to get her to go to bed (he has much more paitence for that task). But we are married; we are partners in this life we have chosen together. He doesn’t need a mother to make his lunch and do his laundry; I don’t need a man to start the lawn mower or take out the trash.

And we sure as hell don’t need marketers or professional organizations trying to perpetuate those stereotypes.

Oily

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In the past I’ve mentioned my love for Eucerin Calming Body Wash Daily Shower Oil. Midwest winters are harsh. Midwest winters in a house with radiant heat (i.e. no chance to run a whole-house humidifier) are brutal. My skin loves that shower oil and when I follow my shower with some Burt’s Bees Mama Oil my skin is happy. It still flakes some and I get a few itchy spots, but it’s so much better than before.

So when AndreAnna started posting about the Oil Cleansing Method it made sense. I fact, I checked the back of the Eucerin and saw that my beloved shower oil was mostly castor and soja oils. I’d been washing my body with oils for awhile, doing the same with my face seemed ok.

I started the OCM about 3 weeks ago and I’m totally happy with it. It has not changed my skin into that of a glowy super model. But it’s as clear as it was with harsher cleansers, not nearly as dry and the ingredients for about a 6 month supply cost all of $17. I’m using a castor/grapeseed combo and after the first week when I switched the ratios (I used 80% castor 20% grapeseed – oops!) and my skin got super-dry, the process is working for me.

What made me laugh the other morning is when I looked around my bathroom. Shower oil in the bathtub, my homemade face oil on the sink, a bottle of Moroccan Oil (a year-round product – I LOVE this stuff!) with my hair stuff and a new-for-dry-hair-winter purchase: V05 Hot Oil. Yes, the old school Alberto V05…what can I say?  It works.

You’d think I’d leave an oil slick in my wake, but in reality it barely keeps the cracking skin and brittle, staticy hair at bay. I can’t wait for the first humid thunderstorm of spring.

Good-Bye 2010

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I can’t believe it’s time for another wrap-up post. When it comes to my adult life, 2010 just flew by faster than any other year I can recall. While I may not me the most prolific blogger or keep to any kind of schedule, I’m so happy I have this place to chronicle our life. I love this family to pieces and this year I feel like we are complete. So, here is 2010 in review:

  • Allowed my daughter to full-fill her ballerina dreams. A year later and she’s still dancing.
  • Had much angst over what order my son’s first and middle names would be.
  • Remained 100% confounded by RITA (Regional Income Tax Authority). I don’t think I will ever get it right.
  • Blogged political. Again.
  • Sat court-side at a few CAVS games.
  • Tried to soak in every final moment of being a family of 3.
  • Gave birth to the mighty MAD.
  • Knew without any doubt that our family of 4 was complete.
  • Took an infant and a preschooler strawberry picking. By myself. (where is my medal?)
  • Celebrated the 10th anniversary of marrying my perfect match.
  • Was lucky enough to become friends with some wonderful local bloggers.
  • Ate several meals from our favorite chef.
  • Saw my girl turn 4.
  • Wrote about a professional athlete on my blog. Ugh. Can’t believe I gave him space.
  • Cheered on my husband as he ran a 5K, a 10K and a half-marathon.
  • Tried to get back into a workout routine (I’m still working on that).
  • Started stressing out about M and Kindergarten. Already.
  • Laughed at something M did or said on a daily basis.
  • Finally visited Velvet Tango Room.
  • Marveled at the boy and how fast his babyhood is going by.
  • Had our family portrait taken. (Thanks Heather, for making us ALL sit in front of your camera!)
  • Marked 3 years of living in the CLE.

2010 was a great year for many reasons. I’m sad to see it go but can’t wait to see what 2011 has to throw our way! Happy New Year!

(Want more? Read 2008 and 2009)

If the Shoe Fits

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I have at least a half dozen pairs of shoes in my closest that never get worn. I swoon over gorgeous pumps just like any other woman and have a few killer pairs. Killer does not just describe the looks; I say that because wearing heels kills my feet. I even bought a pair of You by Crocs thinking they would be more tolerable. But even that squishy Crocs foam is no match for 3 ½ inch heels. I can only wear them for a few hours. 

For several years my go-to shoes have been my beloved Danskos clogs. They are the most comfortable shoes I own and are what are on my feet most often in the colder months (warm weather = flip flops). But, while Danskos are awesome on your feet they are pretty ugly. So awhile ago I tried out a pair of their heels. But they aren’t the same as the clogs and I ended up selling those on Ebay. 

Enter my foray into ballet flats. A few months ago I finally broke down and bought a pair of simple black ballet flats. And I do love them. But they are boring and kind of old-lady looking. And there are so many cute pairs I see on the toes of my co-workers. Jewels! Bows! Flowers! All these cute embellishments! To remedy my boring shoe situation I’ve been scouting the shoe racks in search of some more fun and youthful flats. 

  

 

What have I found? I’ve found that I just can’t wear the cute embellished shoes like these. I just can’t help it, but when there is anything on the vamp of the shoe I see this when I look down: 

Even a simple, flat flower has me wanting to kick the shoes right off for fear of looking like a fool. Shoes like these which look darling on others and cute in the box end up looking like clown shoes when they are on my feet. 

I can’t be the only one. Does anyone else have this ridiculous fear of embellished shoes? And, more importantly, give me some suggestions for cute flats!

Shopping Daze

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Usually by this time of the year I’m just about done with shopping. You see, I would rather walk on hot coals than go to any sort of shopping center between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I hate crowds, I hate the forced cheerfulness, I hate the glut of it all. Two days ago I made a quick run into Trader Joe’s and came out in a bitter mood. The place was jam packed and I know it’s just a sign of things to come.

But this year, due to the fact that my maternity-leave pay got screwed up things are kind of tight for another few weeks and this means there has been no shopping. And, I don’t really know what to get the kids which is making it no fun.

We’re a “one big gift, 2 medium gifts + stocking stuffers” kind of family but this year I really have any ideas of where to start. For MAD, well, he’ll be 8 months at Christmas so he doesn’t really need anything. Plus we still have all the toys from M’s babyhood and the last thing we need is more plastic crap in this house. I’m at a total loss. I want him to get something special, being his first Christmas and all, but I’m stumped.

As for M she already has so. much. stuff. 2 years ago she got her doll house, last year it was the trampoline. And honestly there just isn’t room for any more physically big gifts. My mom is taking her (and I!) to the Nutcracker in December so that may count as her big gift/memory from this year. Of course we’ll get her a special nutcracker to commemorate the occasion. I’ve toyed with the idea of getting her a Leapster or some other gaming device but….gah…she’s only 4. I’m not sure I want to go down the path of video games just yet.

I have a feeling this will be a pretty low-key year. New books, a couple of puzzles, maybe some new clothes and a DVD or 2 (all purchased online, natch) . I’m already feeling kind of bah humbug about it all because I’m not done.

What about you? Are you excited for the holidays? Done shopping? Haven’t even thought past next week? Do you live for Black Friday? And if you have any great gift ideas for an 8 month old and 4 year old, please pass them my way.

Thank You

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To my grandpa who served in the Navy. He saw action in both the Atlantic and Pacific during World War II and received the Purple Heart.

(that’s grandpa on the left)

To my father who served as an Air Force pilot in Vietnam. He flew c-123s in Operation Ranch Hand and received the Purple Heart.

To my husband Mark and my cousin Jeff – both who served in the US Army during Operation Desert Storm.

To Dan, to Patty, to Alex, to Craig and to Ellery.

To everyone who has served in war or peacetime. To the families who have made the ultimate sacrifice.

Thank you.

Who Are The Weirdos in Your Neighborhood?

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We live on a pretty short street.  It’s quiet and there are several elderly people here who have been in their homes for 30 or more years. It’s a nice little suburban setting with people walking their dogs, kids learning to ride their bikes and weirdos mowing lawns barefoot.

Wait, let be back up. When we moved in the woman across the street who is about my mother’s age, came over quite a bit to chat with us as we were playing outside. One of the first things she mentioned was Bob*, the neighborhood odd-job man. “He’s a little odd.” she said “but he’s harmless”. If I remember correctly she said he grew up on the street and was just a normal kid. He went to college and came back a “little off” as she said. Having lived here now almost 3 years I’m going to guess that Bob had some kind of mental episode while at college because the dude is not right. And he creeps me out.

He does indeed do odd-jobs for many of the older folks on our street. He mows lawns, walks dogs, rakes leaves. But he does all of this barefoot and early in the morning. Every Thursday all summer long at 7:45 AM we’d hear the mower start up next door and sure enough he’d be out there, rain or shine, mowing their lawn. Ever see someone mow grass barefoot in a thunderstorm? Weird.

He wears the same thing just about everyday – cut off jean shorts, a ball cap and an old ratty t-shirt. Buddy Holly glasses. No shoes. A bright yellow rain slicker if needed. I would guess that he’s in his mid-fourties or early fifties. He moves between the close-set yards quickly and quietly, often cruising up a driveway on his bike. It never fails to startle me to see him walk by my kitchen window that faces our neighbor’s driveway.

I always thought Bob lived in a slightly unkept house a few doors down as he seemed to come and go from their property a lot. Then, this summer, our new babysitter who has lived in the house catty-corner behind us her whole life, revealed to me that he lives in her neighbor’s garage! He lives in his van right behind us! Turns out that the house behind us is vacant – has been for over 5 years (and here we thought it was old people who were snowbirds). The house is now owned by the son of the previous owners and he allows Bob to live in the garage during the summers in exchange for keeping up the house and property. I had heard music coming from that garage in the evenings many times and had always just assumed someone used it as a workshop. Silly me.

Now is the time of the year that Bob disappears for the winter and I have to say I am relieved. He seems harmless. He’s very kind and we even had him mow our lawn once while on vacation. I’ve never heard anything but good things about him. But he still gives me the creeps. And I’m never totally comfortable with M playing alone outside when I know he could pop up just over the fence anytime. Call me over-protective if you want, but the dude is weird.

So, who are the weirdos in your neighborhood? The people that you meet /when you’re walking down the street/ the people that you meet each day?

*You know his name is not Bob, right?

UPDATED: In case you were wondering, today (11/11) he started at 7:41 and is wearing a winter parka and an ear-flap hat with his jorts.

Season’s Greetings

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Now that Halloween is behind us it’s time for the rapid decent into the end-of-year holidays and one of my favorite traditions – the holiday card.

I LOVE holiday cards and look forward to them each year. I love picking photos, searching out the best designs and writing greetings. I also am like a kid in the candy store when it comes to receiving cards. I can’t wait to get to the mailbox each day and I have a huge stack of cards from previous years stashed away with our holiday decorations. If it has a photo I’m keeping it and I’ll pull it out each year and admire it.

I blame my parents for this. They do the dreaded “Christmas Letter” every year (and every year I’m surprised to see what they think my work title is – it changes annually and is never correct). But they also keep all the letters they receive and each year when we are celebrating Christmas at their house both my sister and I pour over the letters and photos. I marvel over old neighbors for whom I babysat – their kids now graduating from college. Or getting a once-a-year update from second or third cousins. I love this tradition.

With a husband who is a designer we’ve gone the custom route before. But, these days it both quicker (have you ever worked with a designer who is his own toughest critic on his personal projects? Good luck getting a final design) and cheaper to go the pre-made route. Plus with the number of layouts to choose from there is a slim chance people will see your card over and over again in their mailbox.

Enter Shutterfly.  I’ve been using Shutterfly since the days when you sent them your film and they sent back your photos. Remember film? Yeah – it’s been that long.  I’ve even managed to get my mom hooked on the site and if it’s easy enough for her to use then anyone can use it. She loves to make photo books for the grandkids – chronicling her adventures with them. Those are some serious treasures; M loves reading her special books as bedtime stores.

Anyway, we’ve used Shutterfly for holiday cards before and will be doing so again this year. Seriously, with over 500 designs to choose from how can you go wrong? But, yeah – 500 designs to chose from. I need you to help me pick. Here are the 3 I’ve narrowed it down to:

I love this one because we had Wonderful World played at our wedding. Plus I would give us the opportunity to show off some of the great photos Heather took of the kids.

I like how this one is part photo card part “family update letter”

I really like how simple this one is and how it doesn’t scream “holiday” from the outside. I could hang a card like this on the fridge and not worry about it being out of season.

So help me pick – tell me which one you like best. And tell me – are you a holiday card collector like me? Do you write a letter or just send a card? Or do you skip it altogether?

Disclosure: I received 50 free holiday cards from Shutterfly for this post.  All opinions are 100% mine and based on previous services/products for which I paid.

Super Heroes Can Sew

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It’s no secret that I like to sew. I actually like knitting better but sewing has the instant gratification thing going for it. (Don’t ask me about MAD’s baby blanket that I started knitting almost a year ago). I don’t consider myself a very good seamstress but I can find my way around a sewing machine. In my middle school you had to to take both home ec and shop – something for which I will be forever grateful. My mom taught me how to sew, but Home Ec gave me some structure and cemented most of  my skills since we had to make an article of clothing and a stuffed animal for grades. As a side note – do schools even offer home ec and shop anymore? Those classes taught me some wonderful life skills and everyone (boys and girls) had to take 2 years of each. It was brilliant.

Anyway, while I do plently of sewing for our household I don’t often consider sewing for others. I’m too self-conscious of my lack of skills. I once made roman shades for our friends/neighbors and I was nauseous the entire time I worked on them because I feared screwing them up. I can guarantee that you will never find me on Etsy as I think that kind of pressure would give me an ulcer. So, I stick with fun projects for the kids and easy things like curtains and repairs.

Then Heather posted this pic of a superhero set she made for her nephew I thought “I think can do that!” and we had a birthday party for a 3 year old girl the following Sunday. So, I started looking around the internet and came across a ton of instructions and tutorials. I ended up mostly using this one. As luck would have it, satin is on super-sale due to Halloween. That plus felt and thread and I spent a whopping $7.39 on supplies. I figured it was a pretty small investment and if it sucked we could go buy a more conventional gift. However, I think it turned out pretty well:



Of course, in my sleep deprived and somewhat rushed state, I put the appliques on the wrong sides (I intended for the purple star to be on the pink satin and the pink circle to be on the purple side – oops!). And having never worked with satin before the seams are a bit overworked – that stuff is slippery! But the birthday girl didn’t seem to care & put it on right away:

And, since I was on a sewing roll I whipped up a matching number shirt for her to rock during her 3rd year. Do you know much 3 year olds loving sharing their age? This shirt makes it easy:

The project was so much fun I already have the materials to make a cape for M. And I think I may be taking more handmade gifts to future birthday parties.

The Kindergarten Question

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With M’s 4th birthday quickly approaching I am of course already thinking about next year and how that would mean kindergarten and OMG my baybeee!  But then a few weeks ago I came across this post about “red-shirting” kids for kindergarten and the comments made my head spin.  Parents of developmentally-normal kids holding back children who are 5 ½? Parents of kids with March and April birthdays considering them “on the cusp”? I mean, I know that parents of kids whose birthdays were within 60 days of the start of school have always red-shirted but kids who are of age by 6-8 months?  I was floored. 

As it is, our district has a cut off of September 30… her birthday is on the 23rd. If she starts next year she would still be 4 for the first six weeks of school. Other schools in the state have a cut off of August 30, so in the next district over this wouldn’t even be a question – she would have one more year of preschool.  In other areas of the country the cut-off is December 30 so she would be right in the middle of the pack in those schools.  And even though it’s almost a year away, if you follow me on Twitter you know I am totally stressing over this.

First off, I am also a September birthday and was always the youngest in my class.  My mom, a teacher, started me “early” because I was a tall kid and she was worried that my size would be more pronounced if she waited another year. (As an aside: I was the tallest kid in my class until the boys caught up in 4th grade.  I’m a pretty average 5’ 8” now). I did fine in school.  More than fine.  I was in advanced classes from 2nd grade on.  The only downfall I can think of was having to beg rides off people until I got my license and not being able to go to any of the 18+ clubs for the first few weeks of college. 

But!  That was when it was rare for anyone to hold back kid for any reason other than real development issues.  But now, talking to some people in the area I’m finding it’s common for kindergarten entry to be delayed until 5 ½ – 6. For one, I don’t think that’s fair for teachers to have to deal with that wide of an age range.  Secondly, WHY? Why are parents doing this? So their better in sports later in life? So they are the smartest, biggest, best in the class? This is infuriating!

I think M will be ready.  She already knows her letters and can read several sight words.  She’s got some math under her belt and has been in full-day preschool/daycare since she was a baby.  She thrives at school.  But, she’s also on the small side for her age (32 lbs, 37 inches) and has the normal lack of impulse control you’d find in any almost-4 year old.

Second, while she’s used to a full-day of school she’s also used to being in a class with only 6-8 classmates, not 20 or 25.  She’s used to naps and lots of one-on-one interaction.  She adores her school, the teachers and we love the facility.  We live in a fantastic school district and I have no worries about the quality of the curriculum and teachers but the idea of thrusting her into that environment so young does bother me.  Especially when she might be dealing with kids 12-18 months older than her as classmates.

Finally, I wouldn’t be truthful if I didn’t admit that the financial side of things weighs heavily in the start sooner column.  Daycare cost is, I’m not kidding you, the same as it would be to send her to my college alma mater – WITH room and board!  (And her tuition is about the same as other full-time programs we’ve looked into, so there’s no savings to be had).  Even though we’d still be paying for before and after care, our budget would get a huge boost.

So, what’s your stance?  Did you start a kid early or red-shirt?  If you did hold back for a spring birthday – why?  If you’re a teacher I’d really love to hear your thoughts on this!

Right now I’m leaning towards waiting one more year.  But, we will talk with her teachers and meet with the school’s principal this winter to discuss what’s best for M.  I’m just feeling almost forced to red-shirt based on the actions of others.